Rules #198

Let sulking teenagers lie.

Rules #197

If you're hungry and annoyed with the world, don't drink the wine.

Rules #196

A freshly mopped floor is an invitation for the dog to walk all over it with wet feet.

Rules #195

Snooze buttons are not your friend. They are the enemy.

Rules #194

Wet leaves will NEVER dry out.

Rules #193

Racing for the crunch leaf is not a good idea when your competitor has lousy aim.

Stupid is...

... as stupid does.

"And why are you calling today?" -her

"To update the claimant's medical billing insurance and address." -me

"With us?" -her



"Yes." -me

The letter of the day is "S". S for sleeping comfortably in my warm bed until my alarm went off. S for snoozing said alarm for far too long. S for scurrying to work and not being late at all. S for scouring the internet for the information that I need. S for standing up and then S for seeing spots. S for whatever it was that I brought for lunch. Now it is S for snoozing while I wait for my lunch hour to end.

Rules #192

Never. Ever. Go to buy Halloween candy on Halloween. Ever.

Rules #191

Labels and post-its make the world a MUCH better place.

My libation of morning coffee has been poured to the computer gods. Whoops.

Rules #190

Some days all you can do is just do.

Rules #190

A parking lot is not the place for "thinking outside the box."

Rules #189

There is a difference between surviving and living.

Rules #188

The only thing worse than an angry boss is an angry boss who is angry with you.

Some days...

Some days it is important... just to be reminded... that you are having a bad day... so that you can appreciate the good ones... and the good times... when they come.

Rules #187

It doesn't matter what he looks like, so long as he can clean an oven.

Rules #186

If you see a mosquito while driving, ignore it until you get to a place you can stop. Do not try to whack it repeatedly while driving.

Rules #185

You can't make someone want something... even with heavy advertisement.

Rules #184

Every step is a little bit closer to the end of the journey.

This was the wrong week to....

As I looked down at my cold coffee stained white shirt, green scarf, and beige sweater I considered the fact that maybe this wasn't the week to try and cut back on caffeine. Maybe I should've given it up altogether?

Rules #183

No one ever said that fear had to be one way.

Rules #183

The last fifteen minutes of the day are the longest.

Rules #182

Even something you're afraid can brighten your day.

Rules #181

Don't kick the dog.

Soap Box: Good Songs Gone Sour

You ever hear a song on the radio and it's really good. Of course you come in half way through so you're a little lost but you listen anyways. The tune gets caught in your head and you find yourself singing the chorus long after the song has ended? You remember it for days and then finally, it comes on again. You're excited because you get to hear what that song is about and what it's called and who's it by! And then you realize that your wonderful song is about something terrible- something you don't want to be caught knowing, let alone singing. And so you sulk.

 

That's where I am right now. Therefore, I'm gonna rewrite these beautiful songs with lovely melodies and atrocious lyrics. I'm gonna make them tolerable. I'm going to make them better. And then I'm going to go sulk in my corner again because they were supposed to be GOOD songs and no matter how much I change them they're still about something bad. Grumble.

Soap Box: Changes

There have been a lot of changes in my life lately. I've gotten two more godchildren which brings my current total to three boys and five girls. I got a new job four months ago Friday. I no longer get to work directly with priests but I still get to talk to them regularly. My best friend is getting married next month (in twenty-seven days but who's counting?)  My much loved, barely tolerated cat passed away from old age. I started my second year as a teacher of English for non-native speakers and it is tiring but worth it.

 

I've seen a lot of the worst of humanity in my current job and sometimes it makes me jaded.  I think I teach my class because it allows me to witness much of the good of humanity too.  It also allows me to be part of something good, even if it exhausts me.  I work hard with my students but they work harder. These adults, many of whom are old enough to be my parents if not my grandparents, humble themselves to be taught in a classroom two to three times a week by a wildly abnormal teacher, in order to learn another language so that they may improve the lives of their children and grandchildren. They work two or three full time jobs a week and are never late for class. They always do their homework and come prepared with questions and all the materials I've asked them to bring. They are enthusiastic- they read the books I give them- they study and form study groups to help the weaker members of the class. Over and over again they humble themselves and I have yet to have a class where they have not thanked me for my time. They don't see that I am blessed by them.

 

Lately I've been hearing one too many people talk about "those people" who move here and don't speak English. I am first generation of some of those people so maybe my opinion is jaded, but it seems to me that if you go back far enough, all of us come from "those people".

 

Learning English is not a moral choice. Treating people like they are still people is a moral choice. So if you don't like your neighbors, as long as you love them, I don't really care, but for pity's sake, be nice to them. Be charitable. See the world through their eyes. And if you don't like what you see when you run into someone who doesn't speak your language, well I can always use an assistant teaching English.  Be the change you want to see.

Rules #180

Is it scarier to love or not to be loved?

Rules #179

Sometimes the only thing you need to hear from God is, "Be at peace; I am still with you" to feel better about the world.

Rules #178

Sometimes all you can do is try to do the right thing.

Rules #177

There are no instructions too simple for you to mess up.

Rules #176

Speak with purpose. Act with purpose. Live with purpose.

With the Birds

My blue jays are back. I thought they were gone when the ravens moved in, but the sun has come back and so have my birds.

My Happy Thoughts List

This Saturday morning I woke to the first damp, drizzly, windy, cold-enough-to-need-a-jacket day in a REALLY long summer. I'll admit- I'm elated. I love this. This is my kind of weather.

I went for a walk. I took the dog. I tried to take Attila but she changed her mind and forgot to tell me. I came back. I had hot chocolate with Raspberry, which a friend in college turned me onto. I took a nap. I dressed in long sleeves. I've been having a truly, epicly, good day. Then I started making a list of all of my favorite parts of fall.

1. Apple scented candles.
2. Autumn leaves.
3. Birds flying "South" for the winter.
4. Candy Cane hot chocolate.
5. Cold wind in my face as I walk out the front door.
6. Chasing down whatever child has borrowed my hat this week.
7. Chocolate Chip Pumpkin muffins.
8. Christmas lights coming out of the box.
9. Crisp cold mornings.
10. Crunchy leaves.
11. Eighty pounds of apples.
12. Eskimo kisses.
13. Fake chattering teeth.
14. Fall wreaths.
15. Fire in the fireplace.
16. Frost on the windows
17. GLOVES!.
18. Halloween.
19. Harvest Moons.
20. Having to run back inside to get warmer clothes.
21. Hats and jacket combos.
22. Heaters.
23. Holding little gloved hands.
24. Hot chocolate with raspberry.
25. Jumping in the leaf pile.
26. Leaf Angels.
27. Making apples sauce.
28. No more bugs.
29. Norbert sitting on my feet.
30. Peppermint coffee.
31. Pumpkins.
32. Rain boots scattered in the entry way.
33. Raking leaves.
34. Real Apple Cider
35. Rain dances.
36. Running after Attila with her hat.
37. Running to get out of the rain.
38. Relishing standing in the rain.
39. Scarves.
40. "Sneaking" out early to play in the cold with the kids.
41. Snow angels.
42. Snuggling with Attila because she's "cold".
43. Stage-three candy.
44. Thanksgiving dinner with Mischa's family.
45. Tiny people hiding under my jacket while I'm wearing it.
46. Turkey.
47. Using all my blankets.
48. Warm boots with mismatched socks.
49. Wind blowing the hair out of my face.
50. Wrapping Napoleon up in her scarf so she can't move but she's warm.

For the record, this is just the beginning of my list.

Rules #175

The Truth shall set you free.

Book Post

So I have fifteen fairly unimpressionable students that I am attempting to teach English as a second language. My youngest students are in their early twenties and my oldest students are old enough to be my grandparents. I am trying to encourage an environment of reading and writing. I am having them write sentences and we're working on paragraphs. 

 

I am trying to set up a book lending group within the class. What books should I have them read outside of class? Keep in mind that their speaking level is higher than their reading level. One of my students would prefer books that have pictures. Some of them are higher level than that but none of them are at a normal English Speaking Adult Reading level. This is not meant as an insult; they are working hard and are learning, but I want to help them expand their abilities without scaring them with the enormity of the task they are undertaking.

Rules #174

Make time for God; He always makes time for you.

Remembering

Today is another year since one of the most terrifying days of our country's history. But it is also a day to remember one of our most heroic days as well. Say a prayer for those who lost something and another one for those who gained something in themselves as well.

Rules #173

The only person who can make you a better person is you.


And God.

Rules #172

Never be afraid to walk away from a bad situation.

Rules #171

Don't apologize when you didn't do something wrong.

Rules #170

Days that start at an ungodly hour cannot be restarted.

Public Notice

Dear California Residence,

Remember there is a two hour time difference between Texas and California. If it is 9pm there it is 11pm here. Unless there is an emergency (i.e. someone is dying and only I can save them- not someone just died/had a baby/couldn't sleep) don't call me after 9pm, even if I called you three and a half hours earlier. I get up at 5:20am and it takes a long time for me to get back into REM sleep.

Thank you,
me

Rules to Happiness #169

Love and accept yourself for who YOU are.

Rules to Happiness #168

You will never know how strong you are until someone tests your mettle.

Rules to Happines #167

Cookies won't make it better.

Rules to Happines #166

"Whoever said unmerited suffering is redemptive" is either a genius or an idiot.

Rules to Happiness #165

The snooze button is one of the world's greatest self inflicted pains.

Rules to Happines #164

"All will be okay in the end. If it's not okay then it's not the end."

-Stolen from one MI Leader, Janet.

On the Last Day of a Perfect Summer Weekend

Have you ever been outside when that first gust of Fall comes blowing down your path? When the clouds all start playing tag with the sunshine? When the leaves give a wistful smile as they think that they soon shall be going on lots of grand adventures? When the sky is perfectly blue and the trees perfectly green on the last perfect day of Summer? I think that was today.

Oh sure, the last day of Summer isn't technically until September 21st, but I don't believe it. I believe that fall is coming and it is so close you can almost taste it. I believe a lot of things but I'm longing for fall. I'm praying for fall. I'm hoping for fall. I am sitting and awaiting in joyful expectation of what might soon be cooler weather, and pleasant walks out in the less than murky heat of the evening. I have so much to look forward too. Even if school starts tomorrow and I have tons and tons to do before then. I am ready for one more adventure; how bout you?

Rules to Happiness #163

Getting hurt while playing is part of life.

Cartoons

Dear Movie Theatre Preview Selectors,

Just because it's a cartoon does not mean it is for kids. Just because it is about kids does not mean that children should see it.

Thanks,
me

Morning Offering

Good morning Lord,

 

I guess You've been pretty quiet lately.  A part of me wonders if it's because I've been pretty quiet too. It seems we've both been pretty busy with my life. I know You kept that truck from broadsiding me this morning and You got me up before my alarm so that we would have that special time together in the car. And then You gave me time in the quiet. Sometimes I forget how sweet You can be.

 

Lately I've been having trouble with enough: enough sleep, enough to eat, enough quiet, enough work, enough busy, but I can handle that. What I can't seem to handle is not enough time with You.  I am feeble and I forget. Help me to remember everything that You do for me. Remind me again of Your love and Your patience. Remind me of Your mercy. Show me again that You are there and that You've got this whole world thing handled. Be with me, Lord.

 

After all, I am completely Yours, and You are totally mine.

 

-Gabrielle

Rules to Happines #162

You can't love someone enough to heal them.
You can't love someone enough to make them stay.
You can only love them, and pray for them, and hope that it's enough.

Rules to Happines #161

The best advice I ever got was that many of the world's problems are solved by a full night's sleep and a good breakfast.

Rules to Happiness #160

Never be afraid to walk away from a situation.

Rules to Happiness #159

You never know how much you use the sensitive parts of your fingers until she spend all day ripping super glue off of them.

Life Quotes

“Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it's thinking of yourself less.”

 

 -C.S. Lewis

Dear God

Dear God,

If I could go a few days without making myself bleed, I'd be most grateful. 

Thanks!

Love, me

Rules to Happiness #158

A watched fax never sends.

Rules to Happiness #157

When it doubt about your options consider which you will be most embarrassed about in ten years.

Thank God for the Crazy

You know that sound that you make when you're going a wee bit crazy? A sort of cross between the ringing noise from cartoons and the oncoming sound of a train? That's been my last few days. After my fourth phone call on my lunch break (which btw, is the quietest part of my day) I was wondering why God let me have such a busy life. And then I heard His laughter. 

 

If I wasn't at the end of my rope and tired and overwhelmed I wouldn't notice the quiet that will come when I'm out tonight; I wouldn't remember the peace that I feel when I sit alone in the chapel; I wouldn't miss the freedom of not having a cellphone. And then I am reminded of how very blessed I am.

 

So thank God for your crazy; He's reminding you of your blessings.

Rules to Happines #156

Don't enjoy watching someone else react or overreact.

Rules to Happiness #155

Take heart and have courage for today will not be the worst day of your life.

Rules to Happiness #154

Be the change you want to see.

Rules to Happiness #153

Get over yourself.

Rules to Happiness #152

Don't take easy offense.

Quotes from History

"I ain't afraid to love a man. I ain't afraid to shoot him either."

-Annie Oakley

If this turns out to be inaccurate I apologize. I'm still quoting it. It's an awesome quite.

More Adventures with the Post Office

Eau Claire is really Chippewa Falls, dontcha know?

The Post Office in Wisconsin told me so

I asked "Are you sure?" They said, "You betcha.

But if you wanna know for sure you betcha will double check ya."

 

"But I sent it to Eau Claire; it says so, right there."
"Not a thing to it; your mail goes where we meant to it."
And that, dear children, is how The Gabbie Lady found

Adventures with the Post Office

I got a call from USPS again today. They said they couldn't find my package that I was shipping. They just couldn't find it anywhere.

 

They were calling (not because they had lost it) because I had asked them to redeliver it and they thought it might have already been shipped back.

 

I have been tracking my package.  Therefore I already knew it had been delivered and signed for. I thought about having them continue to look for it. I'm not that mean. At least I wasn't today.

Rules to Happiness #151

There isn't a single thing that happens in your day that God doesn't know about.

Rules to Happines #150

Age is only a number in your head... the trick is to not let the rest of your body know.

*stolen from one of my coworkers.

Here's your sign

On USPS customer service line-

"Does your question involve mail?"

Rules to Happiness #149

The key to not making mistakes is confidence

Rules to Happiness #148

Good can come from bad.

Rules to Happines #147

No one can make you happy but you.

Because I'm Happy

Some of you may have noticed I've been writing less this month. Ironically, that is not the case- I just haven't been posting very much on here. I've been busy taking care of other peoples pets and houses, losing a pet myself, studying for a big test at work, preparing for a new school year in ESL and battling various life changes with my close friends. Preparing for one friend's wedding as another friend moved to Florida and yet another friend moved to Texas. Add in all the usual things I do over the course of a week and you get the picture.

 

I was visiting some of my neighbors last night and she noted, "You look really tired... and it's Sunday night." I tried to smile when I told her, "I'm usually tired these days." She laughed; I didn't.

 

And yet, as I dragged myself out of bed this morning, and searched in vain for a dress I have managed to misplace, turned the kasha to low, and remembered to grab my work keys, I thought, my life isn't so bad. I got caught in traffic and that was tiring but not so bad either. A few years ago I would have been done in by so much happening and I wondered what had changed. I guess it's a lot easier to deal with every little stress and every little distraction because I'm happy.

Rules to Happinse #146

Be a person that you would like to know.

Rules to Happiness #145

Some people walk out of your life and you know that you're never going to see them again. Others walk out and you pray you never see them again.

Rules to Happines #144

Just because people need you doesn't mean that they love you.

Rules to Happiness #143

Losing your keys is not the end of the world.

A little bit of soul

Last Thursday our cat died. Our very old, very frail, very arthritic, very loved cat. He took a turn for the worst almost a week before but he kept holding on and some of us thought he would get better. But he didn't. And now that he's gone I miss him.  I've been around cats before but he was different. I know everyone says that but lots of people have said that about him. He was like a cat with a little bit of a soul.

While he was dying, the kids made a sign for his grave. It reads:

Here lies a good cat,

James Tiberius Cat, Esq.

And he was.

Rules to Happiness #142

Forgiving yourself is harder than forgiving anyone else.

Rules to Happiness #141

It's okay to hide.

Notes

It's been three days since I had caffeine. Lord, what did I do to deserve this? *pouts*

Rules to Happiness #140

Your greatest love story is still being written.

I Solemnly Swear....

My Mother always told us that we needed to use our gifts from God. Then she told me that I could be very frustrating at times- like I had a gift.  Now that I'm older I realized that the two are really very connected.

 

I spend a great deal of my time calling doctors offices, hospitals, post offices, and insurance companies. I hound people until they give me the paperwork I need to help the people I'm supposed to help. On more than one occasion I've been described as annoying. I may be consistently polite and sweet tempered, but I never forget what any person I talk to promises to do for me. And this drives them crazy because THEY forget.

 

And today I realized something- I can still use my gifts. I solemnly swear to be a nuisance for the greater Glory of God.

Tap Dancing Purple Semis

A friend of a friend has this theory, that whenever she is uncertain about something, or wants God to make a decision for her, she asks Him to send her a sign: a purple semi truck.  Now you or I or anyone who lives anywhere near civilization will probably see a purple semi on a semi regular basis. It may be that we don't see just purple semis because they aren't the most popular color, but we see them. She doesn't see them at all except when she's asking God for an answer.  She calls it the "tap dancing purple semis" because when she sees them that's ALL that she sees. I find this more than a little humorous. 

 

Since I heard this I tried to view seeing a purple semi the same way. Obviously this doesn't work as well because 1.) it's not my sign and 2.) I go in the Interstate at least twice day near one of the larger cities in Texas and consequently I see lots of purple semis.  That being said there are still some days where it seems that I am surrounded by them and they make me smile. 

 

I tried testing her theory a few months ago- to see if He would show me what He wanted in a more tangible way. And all of a sudden all I could see were purple semis. Unfortunately, I STILL didn't know what He wanted. It seems the more I saw the semis the more lost I was.  And then, about a week ago, while stuck in a horrible traffic jam, that maybe the point wasn't supposed to be that He was giving me the answers. Maybe the point of the semis- the point of the sign from Him- was to remind me that He's still there.

Rules to Happiness #139

Perhaps God's message isn't there to tell you what to do, but to remind you that He's still here.

Rules to Happiness #138

Good can come from bad.

Rules to Happines #137

Sometimes you just make stupid mistakes.

Rules to Happines #136

There isn't enough coffee in the world to fix some levels of stupid.

The Eyes of God

Outside my window at work, for the last hour and a half, is a white dove. For the most part he's been ignoring me and I've been content to ignore him. Then, in the last ten minutes, he won't stop looking at me and I find it most disconcerting. Why do I suddenly feel like God has His eyes on me?

Rules to Happiness #134

Warm, fuzzy sweaters that smell like my grandfather always improves my day, even in the summer.

Rules to Happiness #133

No matter what Barney says, the magic words are not "please" and "thank you" but rather are "no" and "never again".

Rules to Happiness #135

Spelling isn't everything.

All Creatures Great and Small

A week and a half ago I was driving from my Cowboy Parish to my favorite grocery store, taking the backgrounds that aren't quite the end of civilization (but you can see it from there) and blaring the radio loudly. I was coming from a morning service with the "cowboys" and was about as happy as I could be after getting out of a morning Church service.  I was quite the happiest Gabbie that there ever was. And then I looked over and saw someone riding shotgun.

 

I am not afraid of creatures. In fact, I am quite fond of bugs, lizards, snakes, frogs, etc. Basically anything that crawls I enjoy. I tell you this because I want you to understand my reaction when I say that when I saw this spider riding shotgun with a full blown circle web (that had not been there before Church) and I shrieked, it was not a little thing.

 

I fairly drove off the road, pulling over in a hay field and hopping out of the car, grateful that I was wearing boots, and racing over to the other side where I furiously destroyed the web with my bulletin and shooed that magnificent spider out of my car.  The spider was easily the size of a golf ball including legs and moved about as fast as one. In a moment he was gone (and still among the living) and I was... on edge.

 

Half a week later, my friend, Lauren-my-Lauren was riding along with me and out crawled another spider (who bore a striking resemblance to my other spider). I was (once again) driving and I shrieked. Lauren-my-Lauren looked from my eyes to the spider (who was practically in her lap), lifted her booted foot, and stomped on his brains until they gushed out the sides. I like her.

 

Then, this morning, I was parked and I realized there was a not small cricket hopping around on my dashboard. I pulled over to the side to let him out and when he was gone I continued on. Then I felt something in my hair and realized he had just been hiding and I fairly lost it while driving again. I swear, I don't have a messy car, but I do have a bad habit of leaving my car doors open far longer than necessary. Either which way, I think I'm going to vacuum my car when I get home, and make sure no more creatures crawl out of the woodwork.

Rules to Happiness #132

Mantra of the Day:
             Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, help me not to make stupid decision today.

My Neo Crede

I am Catholic.

 

I believe there is a heaven. I believe there is a hell. I believe there is a purgatory. I believe that heaven is a party and is not here on earth. I think that purgatory is standing room only and resembles a Doctor's Waiting Room- i.e. we're gonna be waiting half of forever but there is hope at the end of the tunnel. I dearly hope and pray that hell is empty.

 

I believe in the Sacraments. I believe in the succession of Peter and therefore the ordination of priests and the reason for the Pope. I believe that we've got it right even if the rest of the world paints us to be anti-Semitic, misogynistic, pedophiles. I am not and I don't know any Catholics that are. I believe the Church has made many mistakes but that Christ has promised us that the gates of hell would never prevail.  This means that no matter how we screw up, the Devil won't win, and He won't abandon us.

 

I believe in Holy Orders. I don't think of nuns as female priests. I believe that only a man can be a priest. This doesn't mean I hate women or that I'm anti-feminist. I believe that Christ laid out the role of the priest for men and I haven't questioned it since. I believe that women have important roles too. I don't think it is a woman's job to only be a mother or a homemaker or take care of men. This is not an insult to women just as it is not an insult to men. No, I haven't been brainwashed.

 

As a good Catholic I don't hate the Muslims, the Protestants, the Jews, or the Atheists. Along the same lines I don't hate gays, lesbians, blacks, Asians, Indians, people who refuse to learn English, people who refuse to learn anything, anyone who disagrees with me on any or all of these topics, and/or any other social or cultural group. I don't hold a deep seated hate because I come from a religion that professes love.  Moreover, I have better things to do with my time than hate anyone, and really, you should too. I love all people.

 

I don't think animals are humans. I love them but they are still not human.

I believe all life is sacred and should be protected. This does not mean that I am vegan but it does mean that I have and will continue to pray for the sanctity of life.

 

I believe that forgiveness and love are vital parts of being a Christian... and human.

 

I believe that being Catholic does not mean that you aren't a Christian. I believe that you don't have to be Catholic and/or Christian to be saved.

I believe in the seven  cardinal virtues and their opposing deadly sins. I believe that love can be enough to save someone if they love themselves too. I believe that an individual can change the world but that the world has to be open to change.

 

I believe that all people were created equal but to whom much has been given much more will be expected.

 

I believe that Christ may have been handed over to Pontius Pilot and the Roman Empire by the Jews but He died for MY SINS. I believe that Christ died for MY GREAT MANY SINS, because of my sins, and through HIM, I have been SAVED.

Rules to Happiness #131

If you are worried about something, the more time you talk to other people, the less time you talk to God.

Rules to Happiness #130

Some times the nicest thing you can do for a person is to tell them, "Aint no way this is ever gonna happen."

Rules to Happiness #129

Failure to plan on your part does not create an emergency on mine.

Rules to Happiness #128

A single person cannot save everyone.

Rules to Happiness #127

It is our duty to help others- not enable them.

Rules to Happiness #126

Gossip is unchristian. So is emotional manipulation.

Rules to Happiness #125

It is okay to admit you made a mistakes... but you still have to deal with the circumstance.

Rules to Happiness #124

Compliance is not agreement.

Rules to Happiness #123

Charity is good. Enabling is not.

Humbling Moments of my Life #1

I got the hiccups. Really bad hiccups. Three seconds apart hiccups. I got them while I was leaving a message. A message for a Doctor's office. A message for a Doctor's office from a Law Firm. *facepalm*

Rules to Happines #122

Cookies: good for the heart, good for the soul... terrible for the waistline.

Rules to Happines #121

Rain washes away everything... given time.

Rules to Happiness #120

No matter how good your day is, it only takes one thing to turn it around.

Rules to Happiness #119

No matter how bad your day, it only takes one thing to turn it around.

(In Parenthesis)

Last night I was exhausted. I won't lie. I got up at 5.30am in order to feed and water the cats, clean their kitty litter, and clean whatever mess they decided to make the previous night. Then (as a second thought) I made myself coffee, made myself lunch, and dashed out the door by 6.00am in order to run by one of the rental properties and take in the trashcans before someone reported them again. Following that I went to my day job where I stayed for nine hours and ten minutes, having (gratefully) arrived ten minutes early with enough time to apply my makeup.

After that I raced back to the rental house (in a record twenty minutes) to meet the repairman and his second in command (think Duck Dynasty), Locksmith (again) (late) (again), and cleaning lady (also late) (also again). Then while I waited between appointments (lots of tardiness) I started going through the insurmountable task of sorting through the trash, the donatable, and the "oh, I wish I had mind bleach!" Then my bff called me back. Read as "She and I talked while being interrupted by repairmen on my end and toddlers on her end." Some days I wish Virginia was a lot closer to Austin. Finally we gave up and called in a rain check.

Following that I got back to work entertaining myself by picking up all the lost coins scattered through the house (I filled two coffee cups- also left behind). I felt like I was walking around in Mario Kart and someone had let a shell loose. Then my cleaning lady showed up and asked me what I wanted clean (I resisted the urge to say "MY LIFE!) Then a friend came to help me sort followed by the second trip of the nutty Locksmith (seriously, the man looks Doc from Back to the Future and has a similar disposition.)

Finally we all finished up (or quit) for the day and I went home, ready to get a bite to eat, take a shower, and go to bed.  I was watching an episode to help me slow my mind when my very noisy phone went off.

"Hello?" I said into the received, barely registering the caller ID as I did.

"Hello, Gabbie", said the little voice of my youngest goddaughter.

"Hey, Baby," I replied in my most sympathetic voice, "How're you?"

"I'm fine," Napoleon said (sounding close to tears.)

"You don't sound fine," I responded.

"I'm just a little homesick", she said (then came the tears.)

"I miss you too," I whispered back. Twenty minutes (and a Prince Eric Dragon story) later we got off the phone. (And I felt better.)

All by Myself

A funny thing happened this morning. I was having a bad morning (my alarm went off at 5.30 even though I didn't have to get up until 6.30 (don't ask) and then I had to deal with an attention deprived George. All by myself.  

I spent twenty minutes try to track down a key to help out a friend at my Parish and then another half hour waiting for the key to show up so that everything that needed to be done could be done. All by myself.  I reformatted a few documents and generally tidied while I waited and thought I might pop into the chapel for morning Mass... and then I remembered that there would be incense left over from last night, a halting reminder as to why I was so groggy this morning and angry with God for keeping me out of Adoration with a group of friends that I had been looking forward to all month. I was shut out from the Chapel- just me, all by myself.

I wrote written in my notebook, "I feel like You're trying to push me away with incense but I know that can't be right; why are You testing me?"

So I went to the grocery store and got an oil change and an inspection- by myself. Then I got a call from one of the repairman I've been in contact with for the past week, canceling my early appointment that I had deliberately gotten started so early in the morning so I wouldn't miss it. I won't lie- I was annoyed.  

I misplaced my keys in my pockets and while searching for them I found a rosary. A rosary that my friend Mari had brought back from the Cathedral of Our Lady of Guadalupe in Mexico City, a place that my grandmother dearly loved. I had forgotten that I had that rosary... even more I had forgotten where I had left it.  As the rosary emerged from my pocket I heard a familiar voice say, "I'm still here." I never have to question who those words come from because the overwhelming feeling of love that entrances and protects me. I hear His voice and I know that I'm not alone and that although I am overwhelmed and overrun and that I cannot keep doing this on my own, together, we'll get it all done, and from now on, even though I'll forget it, I haven't been all by myself since He promised to never leave me alone.

Maybe it's not such a bad thing to be all by myself if I'm all by myself with Him?

Because sometimes you need to be reminded...

"I have loved you," says the LORD. "But you ask, 'How have you loved us?'

Malachi 1:2a

Rules to Happiness #118

Make time for God.

Rules to Happiness #117

God's love story is written all around you. Be aware of your surroundings.

Rules to Happiness #116

Sleep is a necessary evil.

Rules to Happiness #115

Forgiveness is a natural blessing that comes with time.

Rules to Happiness #114

Sometimes being an adult means staying home and resting.

Rules to Happiness #113

Growth comes from suffering and only through suffering.

Rules to Happines #112

At some point, every person needs to be speak and be heard.

Rules to Happiness #111

Brag about your hair and it will surely turn frizzy.
Humility is good for the soul.

To Those Who Don't Vote: Rant Warning

If you say, "I didn't vote for him" but you didn't bother to vote, you're passing the blame on to those who honored their civic duty and cared enough about how an election turns out enough to show up and participate.

 

If you only put your opinion out there loudly on Facebook, Twitter, or other public forums, but fail to back it up by supporting the opinions in other places through tax laws or bonds, you're just passing the responsibility. 

 

If you won't donate to organizations that support causes you support, you are just the loud rabble.  Voting is free of cost.

 

In short, if you aren't willing to put any effort to supporting a cause or a person except vocally when there is no opposition, you are a coward and you are an idiot.

Rules to Happines #110

Good conquers evil. Maybe not at first but eventually. Always.

Rules to Happines #109

People feel it necessary to share their feelings. If you're having a bad
day, please, don't share.

Rules to Happines #108

"Without sacrifice there is no love."

-He And I, Gabrielle Bossis

Rules to Happiness #107

You can't pay someone to care.

Shampoo Girl

"How do you get hair this awesome!?! You don't brush it!  You don't wash it! You don't do anything but sleep on it!"

 

One of my friends recently ranted at me about my hair. I feel bad because I find it so funny.  I will be the first to admit that my hair is pretty awesome in it's current state of long, dark, curls that get auburn streaks when I stand in the sun. Add in that I have been blessed with my Father's thick Mexican hair that hides imperfections and never grows faster than it really should, and I could be donating to Locks of Love well into my fifties.*  I love my hair... now.

 

Up until I was a Junior in college, I had ridiculously frizzy hair. It used to hover around waist length and be trimmed every five weeks on the dot. I'd comb, brush, shampoo, condition, primp, braid, and let loose and it never ceased to make me look like Cousin It or Tangela from Pokémon. Trust me, it wasn't pretty. 

Nonetheless, I made one of my very best friends in Elementary school because of my hair.  Every day Mimi would run up to me and ask me what shampoo I used. I couldn't fathom why she wanted to know, nor could I recall (or care) what kind of shampoo I used.  My lack of a response caused many of the older girls to chase me around calling me "Shampoo Girl".  I wasn't amused. Soon most of the playground knew me that name and I would usually go home crying.  Finally my Mother advised that I should tell them that my hair had nothing to do with my shampoo.  I still didn't understand.  But, I went back to school and repeated my Mother's words and then Mimi asked me a question I may never forget: "Then how do you have such long hair?"

I looked at her blankly. 

"Because I don't cut it," I eventually replied. 

Eventually Mimi and I became friends (after "Shampoo Girl" lost it's charm) but not before I acquired another nickname. As some of you may recall, my first name has a variation of "Anne" in it. Since my Mother had me wear my hair in two braids everyday (EVERY SINGLE DAY FROM 1ST GRADE THROUGH 6TH!!!!) one of the Elementary School teachers said that I looked like a doll... like a rag doll... like a Raggedy Annie. I may never forgive her for that one. 

Then I went through Junior High, High School, and most of College with my continued frizzy hair.  What made it worse was that I moved to Florida for college and my hair went... scary. Some days I'd wake up and look like Frankenstein's bride. And I still got teased about my hair, albeit not as much as when I was young.

And then I did something stupid.  Really stupid.  Even for my standards.  I used a temporary dye to turn my hair a beautiful auburn.  Instead it came out a lovely shade of burgundy.  I was unimpressed, but it was supposed to be temporary.  My roommate dyed her hair periwinkle at the same time.  Her color came out three days later.  My color didn't. In a fit of desperation (right before returning home) I decided to cut most of it off, praying that my parents wouldn't notice the color.  (It occurred to me afterwards that my Mother would just be grateful that it wasn't green.  Oh, and my Father is colorblind).  Of course I made this decision between the hours of 2am and 5am while writing a rather long history paper on the defining themes of the American Revolution that were unique to our history.  And then I made a mistake.  Not on the paper- on my hair.  So I had to fix it.  Then I made another mistake.  So I had to fix it again.  Pretty soon my long, waist length hair was barely covering my ears. 

I was convinced I was going to have to endure months of ridicule while it grew back and tearfully look at myself in the mirror while bemoaning my reckless decision.  And then something wonderful happened.  My frizzy hair curled. Not just sort of curled but ringlets.  And it was pretty, and it was effortless, and all I had to do was get it wet and it would form these gorgeous, Shirley Temple curls!  I had died and gone to heaven.

And when my family saw it, well- My Father said he was so glad to see me he wouldn't talk about my hair until we got home.  My Mother sat and looked at me in shock for several days, unsure how I had managed to get a perm in Florida.  And my grandmother said as soon as she saw me, "You mean you could have had curly hair this whole time!?!"

Well that was six years ago and although I've gotten better at styling it and keeping the curls between wettings, I haven't really done much more to it now than I had time to do in college.  But you want to know the secret to how I have such awesome hair now? Well it's not because of my shampoo.

 

*(For the record, I have donated to Locks of Love twice. Please don't tell me that I should donate my hair like it's an original idea that I never would have thought of on my own. I like my hair long and I really don't enjoy arguing with strangers over the fact that because I have something good I should give it away.)

Rules to Happiness #106

Moments of perfect silence can only be ruined by a loud cellphone.

Rules to Happiness #105

Silence is golden.

I Was There

Last night a friend of mine convinced me to go to the daily rosary for the 2014 Fortnight for Freedom. While I was sitting there I started to get this poem stuck in my head. It's unrefined and unfinished, but I'd be interested in your thoughts.

          I was there when the beach was taken
          I was there when the towers fell
          I was there at the founding of a new nation
          I was there in the battle of Passchendaele
 
          I was there at the sign for peace
          I was there with those left behind
          I was there for those who were left to linger
          I was there because they too were mine
 
          I was there in the first desperate cry
          Of those faced with loss
          I was there to pay with my blood
          For the unprecedented loss
 
          I was there with them in Eden
          I was there on Mount Sinai
          I was there waiting for the Holy Land
          I was there with them waiting to fight

          I was there at the Nativity
          I was there at every joyful birth
          I was there singing with the Angels
          I was there because love had come to Earth

          I was there at your first love
          I was there when you sore you'd never be apart
          I was there when you pledged yourself to Me
          I was there when he broke your heart

          I was there when you never thought you'd find peace
          I was there when you were sure you'd never love
          I was there when you rediscovered Me
          I was there watching from above

          I was there when you learned forgiveness
          I was there when you learned it again
          I was there leading you by the hand
          I was there to lead you back again

          I was there with the first joyful laughter
          I was there with the first sacrifice
          I was there at the altar
          I was there to pay the price

          I was there in every suffering
          I was there in every joy
          I was there with every woman
          With every man, girl, and boy
 
          I was there at the great creation
          Beginning and the end
          I was there with the first joyful laughter
          I was there with the first true friend

          I was there- I am there- I will be there
          And I always be there
          For I have always been yours
          And you have always been mine

Rules to Happiness #104

There's a difference between letting go and moving on.

Rules to Happiness #103

One more than "not the one" is one too many.

(Stolen with permission from a College friend.)

Rules to Happiness #102

"Love is the foolishness of men, and the wisdom of God.”

-Victor Hugo, Les Misérables 

Rules to Happines #101

Every one is someone. Everybody matters and is important.

Rules to Happiness #100

If someone wants to be there, they will be there. If he or she does not, then he or she will not.

Rules to Happines #99

Goodbye is not forever.

Rules to Happiness #98

Hiding from the world doesn't work when there is a messy kitchen.

Rules to Happiness #97

If you is good people and they is good people, age shouldn't matter when being friends.

Rules to Happiness #96

There are two things in the human spirit that are unquenchable: Fear and Hope.

Rules to Happiness #96

Sometimes not getting enough sleep is the right thing to do.

Rules to Happiness #95

Never ever agree to go on a date with someone because you feel sorry for them.

Rules to Happiness #94

For some people, extreme bravery is killing a spider.

Rules to Happiness #91

Not everyone outgrows their nightmares. That's okay too.

Rules to Happiness #93

*This one I stole from one of my favorite authors.*

"Whether you believe you can or you can't; either way you are right."

-Mark Twain

Rules to Happiness #92

Being a good person and being a nice person are not the same thing.

Rules to Happiness #90

Steps that are not towards your greater purpose are steps away from your happiness.

Rules to Happiness #89

Live passionately.

Just Gabrielle

I attended a 40th Wedding Anniversary party yesterday and I was around many people that I used to see weekly but I haven’t seen since February when I resigned my position at the Catholic Church.  Consequently there were a great many people who wanted to ask me a great many questions. Among the usual were, where was I working these days, who was I dating, how I liked my new job (usually followed by if I considered going back), which ministry I was favoring for the summer, and how my family was doing.  I used to have a knack for answering these questions with as little information as possible while being perfectly polite and giving them a sense of appreciation for their interest in my life; I think I’ve gotten rusty. 

In such a crowd of familiar faces, I was surprised that there were any questions that could surprise me: “Who are you?”  Her unspoken question that she announced loudly with her eyebrows was, “How do you fit in here?”

I tried to think of the shortest way to answer her question.  I could say that I was the best friend of the happy couples one absent child.  Or I could say that I routinely brought coffee to one of their daughter-in-laws when she had a bad day.  Or I could say that I once watched five of their grandchildren when their younger brother was born prematurely and their parents wanted to spend as much time at the hospital as possible.   Or I could say that I had spent four hours that day standing over a barbeque after spending two hours prepping salad and drinks for this very party.  And then I realized that it didn’t matter.

“I’m Gabrielle- just Gabrielle,” I said with a smile, but I thought "And that’s quite enough for one day.”

Rules to Happiness #88

*This one I steal from my grandmother*

Act as if everything depends on you. Pray as if everything depends on God.

Rules to Happiness #87

Never ever agree to go on a date with someone because you feel sorry for yourself.

Rules to Happiness #86

Love with conditions is not love.

Rules to Happiness #85

Some of the greatest blessings come from sorrow.

Happy Friday!

One of the lawyers that I work with came into my bosses office while I was sitting in her chair today. I looked a little sheepish as she was out of the office and I wasn't sure if he (the lawyer) knew why I was in there in the first place. (For the record, why I was in there isn't relevant to the story.)

           He looks at me oddly for a moment and then says, "What do we want?"

I blinked.

           "Time TRAVEL!"

I half smiled.

           "When do we want it?" he responded. 

I shrugged.

           "Irrelevant!" he announced happily and  left the office.

I stared after him in surprise and then couldn't stop laughing.  Have I mentioned how much I like my new job.

What will make it all worth it?

I was listening to the radio on my way home from work this week and I heard about one of the Spurs players saying that the previous week made the whole past year worth it (apparently they did well in the Playoffs).  The Radio host asked what would make all your bad days worth it?

 

I had a really bad day last week.  I woke up in a bad mood and I had a headache.  I was overwhelmed with impending events and frustrated by current ones.  I didn't want to deal with reality but reality came knocking on my door in the form of my youngest goddaughter, Napoleon, who wanted to know if I was awake yet (I wasn't) and I had to get up and answer the door before she could hear me say, "Go away.  I'm still asleep."  Needless to say, after this I couldn't get back to sleep.  So I got up and was social and attempted to find the ever elusive coffee.  I couldn't find it.  Then Captain, my Captain said something that frustrated me and wouldn't let it go. 

And so I went outside and examined the basil with alarming vigilance, searching for imaginary bugs that I could squish with my brain.  And then Attila came out and asked me if I was okay.  I wasn't and I was in no mood to pretend otherwise.  This didn't phase her.  She took my hand and sat me down.  Then she leaned against me with the faith only a child can really express and said that she would never leave.  Then she went on a tangent that some day she might move out and we'd have a house together with chickens and a pig that we wouldn't eat (because Gabbie thinks pigs are cute) but one day while I was out she would eat the pig to see if I would notice.  There was more to the conversation- about the never leaving, not about the house with the pig- but that is something between me and Attila that I hope she never forgets.  And as bad as some days have been lately, and as bad as some days will continue to be, she is mine and I am hers, and as she said, there is nothing either of us can do about it.  And she made it all worth it.

Rules to Happiness #84

Love does not exist for the benefit of the receiver, but rather, for the giver.

Go Out and Achieve Nothng

If you spend an hour folding laundry you will achieve nothing but folded laundry.

 

If you spend an hour washing dishes you will have achieved nothing but an empty sink and clean dishes.

 

If you spend an hour cleaning the floor you will have achieved nothing but a clean floor.

 

Sometimes the end result is the greatest reward.

 

If you do any of these things for someone else you will gain their unwavering gratitude... until such time as it needs to be done again.

Rules to Happiness #83

I heard this one this week and I feel that it needs dutiful repetition in order to remind oneself to mind one's own business.

 

 

"Not my circus- not my monkeys."        

-Polish Proverb

Rules to Happiness #82

We save hate for the people that we once loved the most.

Rules to Happiness #81

There is no purer love than the love of a child for his or her parent.  Nor is there a more selfish one.

Forever is a Long Time

This is the last verse of one of the best songs I ever wrote.  It is one of the few songs I've written from my perspective. What's more is a I wrote it about grief. In case you haven't been following my recent posts, I've been thinking about loss a lot of late. I've also been thinking about acceptance and forgiveness. Not for anyone in particular, but it is a good practice to go through. This song is about facing what is holding you back, and so I pose the question, what is holding you back from being close to God?

And everything is made brand new

And though you may never forget

Perhaps you can’t be happy

Until you’ve really wept

You can’t love without loss

You can’t laugh until you’ve cried

Goodbye is not forever

When God is by your side
 

Rules to Happiness #80

You are so much more than beautiful.

Rules to Happiness #79

Using God as an excuse to offend people does not compliment God and makes you look like an idiot.

Rules to Happiness #78

Things that are easy are not worth earning.

Rules to Happness #77

You don't have to be happy every moment in order to be happy.

Rules to Happiness #76

You don't have to have every moment be perfect in order to have a perfect life.

Being a Bridesmaid

I heard somewhere the phrase "five times a bridesmaid- never a bride." I think I'm getting close. Maybe I should stop involving myself with so many weddings?  Or hide myself in my closet for a year.  That sounds like a good way of dealing with stress, right?

Rules to Happiness #75

Don't give God deadlines.

Rules to Happiness #74

Some days the hardest thing to do is getting up in the morning and trying again.

Rules to Happiness #73

When your life is careening out of control, well, that's when you know that God is IN control.

Rules to Happiness #72

This Rule brought to you by Fr. Steve....


God wants to hear from you even when you're mad.

Rules to Happines #71

Happiness can arrive via a friend bringing a surprise cup of sweet coffee.

What's that? God reads my EMAIL!?!?!

So, in case it wasn't obvious by my recent posts, I've been having a trampoline of emotions. By trampoline I mean I go up, I go down, and really, I haven't gone anywhere. 

 

My love sign from God is the rain.  What did we have yesterday? Rain.  And I've been really wrapped up in my own emotions.  To give you an example of this, apparently there was a Tornado watch last night... and a really big storm.  I didn't notice.  At all.  In short, God and I have been having a fight. 

 

At the beginning of the year I signed up to get the Catechism of the Catholic Church in a year daily emails along with the Gospels in a Year emails. After a few weeks of this I decided I couldn't do both so I've been deleting the Gospels as they come and reading the CCC.  I figured I'd do the Gospels next year. Today I checked my email and for whatever reason I looked at the Gospels.  And this is what it said:

And he said to his disciples, "Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you shall eat, nor about your body, what you shall put on.  For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing. Luke 12:22-23

And I am humbled.

And so very loved.

Rules to Happines #70

For me at least, the best prayer is done over a sink full of dishes.

Rules to Happiness #69

Don't give God a deadline.

Rules to Happiness #68

All you really need out of life is a family, a garden, and many, many books.

Rules to Happiness #67

Four years after I started this blog I reached my 300th post today and I almost missed it. This is a piece of advice that I wish I had heard four years ago.

Pray with passion and hopeless abandon.

Rules to Happines #66

Sometimes it's not what you say but how you say it that hurts.

Rules to Happines #65

If you want to ensure that you will look foolish, tell God what to do.

Pieces: Part Two

To read the first part of this post click here.

Keep in mind this is a very painful subject to me and although I'm not pointing fingers, it still makes me very sad.

Several years ago, after I had been living in Texas for more than a year, I met and dated my very first Cowboy.  He will also be my very LAST Cowboy. We had been dating a month and things were going well and I was beginning to think this might become serious when I met his parents.  Not surprisingly, they loved me.  (I never said I was humble)  I met his brothers and they had a similar reaction.  Even his sister-in-law liked me.  There was just one small problem...

Long after they met me and told the Cowboy how much they liked me his parents invited me to an event with them in San Antonio.  We had a lovely day and I met a lot of people who had known the Cowboy since he was "knee high to a grasshopper" (Texans have very strange phrases) and they all wanted to talk to me.

Well, you know me, I love people. I love talking to them and hearing their life stories and I love to tell them mine.  And I did.  And that's where the trouble started.

"Could you not tell them you're from California?" he said.

I remember thinking,
I can't help it- I sound like I am from California.  Why would I want to be anything else?

This is the face that I gave him.

"Would you please not tell everyone how we met?"

We met at college. He asked me out. I said no because he was a Freshman when I was a Senior and young and stupid. Two years later I decided to give him a second chance. 

"Stop telling everyone about your dad." 

What's wrong with my Dad? My Dad is awesome. 

"People don't want to know you're Mexican!"

Saywat!?!

From there he proceeded to drag me off to a quiet corner to tell me that I was embarrassing him by telling people I was Mexican.  But I am.  Half.  First generation.  Proud of it.  Still American to the core and still Texan.  He then informed me that his family liked me well enough and they were willing to overlook my genealogy if I would just shutup about it.  His words- not mine. I didn't know people like that still existed.

I reminded him that if we were to get married and had kids that those children would be a quarter Mexican.  He said yes and that was unfortunate but that they would still be half Czech.  (He was pure gold, Czech lineage, which mean he was shorter than average, stocky, had plain features, receding hairline and a grumpy disposition- and he was the good looking one in the family.)  I would love to compare his features to the males in my family some time but I'm not that mean.  He told me he wasn't racist and I told him then he was a closet racist.  He said he loved me but his love was tearing me to pieces.  Needless to say that was more or less the end of me and the Cowboy. 

Then a few months later I met and went on one date with another good old Southern Boy.  He was sweet, quiet, very nervous, but generally a pleasant human being.  After he made a few racist jokes (that I didn't get) my friend, the dancer, informed him that the reason I didn't get the joke was because of my ethnicity and she didn't find it funny.  He didn't call me again.  I consider it a bullet dodged. 

After that I took a year off from dating and I was quite convinced that all the men in Texas were racist.  Eventually I was proven wrong but now when a guy asks me out before I agree or disagree I state the following:

1. I am a practicing Catholic and I am proud of it.
2. I am first generation Mexican and I am proud of it.
3. I have a lot of brothers and I am proud of them.

Then I give them my age and ask them if they still want to ask me out.  It's scared away more men than I care to admit.  Then again, it's also shown me who deserves a chance. 

Racism is alive and well in the South.  I didn't know people like that still existed before I moved here and I admit that the lack of racism is one of the few things that I miss about California.  That and Disneyland.  And my family.  And real mountains.  But you catch my drift. 

It's taken me years to write about this, largely because it is still a very painful subject.  The last thing told the Cowboy before I stopped answering his calls was "You say that you want to love all of me, but you can't stand a piece of me."  I am beautiful and wonderful and I have the best crazy family a person could ever ask for- Mexican, German, British, Japanese, Ukrainian, Australian, Swedish, Irish, Scottish... the list goes on and on, but I am not made up of pieces. I am whole. I am loved. And I wouldn't give that up to pretend to be any one of those things for the world... or a cowboy.

So perhaps the moral of the story is that I don't believe you can love a person if you don't love pieces of them. You either love all of them or you don't love them. And if you don't love your neighbor, you aren't being Christian.

Ten Reasons

Here's my list- it's etched in stone- the perfect, perfect guy for me... wouldn't have any of these.

10 Reasons Why You Should Not Tempt Fate and Date Him

I'm sure most of theses are "no-brainers" or at least you'd have no brain to date one of them but believe it or not either I or someone I lived with dated all of these men at one point or another.  Read on- at least you'll get a laugh.  

1. If he uses the phrase, "You're just like your Mother."  Even if it's true, you just don't want to deal with that because every time he's upset it comes up. He is belittling you and it doesn't matter if it is in public or in private.  Respect is important in all relationships but especially in romantic ones.

2. If he calls you and leaves ten messages on your machine, sobbing hysterically, if you don't answer the phone for two hours.  (okay, maybe this one applies more for me because I frequently leave my phone out in the car or it gets lost in my bed and I don't really worry about it cause- hey, it's a phone, not a lifeline.)

3. If he ever makes you feel like you aren't beautiful, wonderful, or worthy. Seriously. Ladies, you deserve to be cherished.

4. If he ever ignores you when you tell him "no." I would elaborate but I might be tempted to slug someone again.

5. If he wastes your time by lying and then lies to get out of it after you've caught him. Liars lie- the end. They can't be cured and it's not worth the breath to try.

6. If you ever feel like you have to be the "adult" in the relationship because he's being that immature.  Again, sometimes women are more mature than men but if you have to remind him that he needs to do his laundry or he won't have any clothes or he needs to feed the cat or it will die...

7. If he ever talks about the girl(s) he dated before you as "the one who got away" because they might come back. It's like having sword hanging over your head hanging by a thread. It doesn't get better.

8. If you can use the following sentence to describe him, you should not date him.  "He had the body of an oak tree and the brain of an acorn." In addition to being one of my favorite lines from a movie ever... It would be nice if beautiful men had big brains, but let's face it, they are a hot commodity (pun intended) and rare.

9. If he ever cheats on you. See number Five again. Seriously.

10. If he routinely "forgets" to tell you big things. I'm not talking about "I'm going to the grocery store" but more along the lines of "I'm leaving the state for a week in three days.

We've all been there. You're young- you're in love- but you must have left your brain in your other purse. I'm sure there are exceptions to every rule but if you ignore one of the rules you are inviting pain in.

Rules to Happiness #64

You are never too old or too mature to do something stupid. Resist the urge to do something stupid!!!

Rules to Happiness #63

Just because it's over doesn't mean it's the end.

Rules to Happines #62

Don't forget to put yourself on the backburner sometimes.

Rules to Happiness #61

It is okay to forget. It is also okay to remember.

Rules to Happiness #60

It's okay to have days where you don't want to talk to anyone.

Rules to Happiness #59

There are some days that no matter what goes wrong, you know it's going to be a great day.

Rules to Happiness #58

There are days when no amount of patience will make it a good day.

Pieces: Part One

Anyone who has spent any amount of time with me knows that I come from a biracial family. I am exceptionally proud of the fact that I grew up in a house where five languages were spoken, although my friend KP argues that ASL (American Sign Language) doesn't count as a "spoken" language. Between the two of them my parents speak Spanish, German, Latin, ASL, and occasionally, English.

When I was younger I rather enjoyed shocking people by telling them that my grandfather was an illegal alien and swam the Rio Grande to get into the United States.  Dozens of times. I particularly enjoy a retelling of the story of my little brother telling his elitist, old money, private school, classmates that his grandfather was a "wetback." 

I also enjoy telling people that my mother's family are ethnically German... in every way. We used to joke that it was illegal to show any emotion other than vague tolerance and muted boredom at the dinner table. Similarly once a child turned ten it was no longer permissible to be show physical affection to said child, by anyone.

On the opposite end of the scale my Mexican Family consider it a great insult to enter a room without kissing all relatives on both cheeks and hugging everyone. Additionally it is psychologically impossible to have a conversation without the use of raised voices, emphatic hand motions, and gasps of surprise at every tedious revelation. The greatest social insult would be to NOT talk and touch to anyone but to glare at them somberly from the corner.

AND YET, the one thing that has stayed with me more than anything else that my Mother told me as a teenager, is that my brothers, my sisters, and I got the best of both worlds.  I didn't believe her... then.

Coming from such a wealth of background that made up lots of tiny pieces of my whole, one can only imagine what it was like leaving the nest.  Such a strange new world of people who came from only one or two race and it made me laugh.  To be fair it doesn't take much to make me laugh but when I realized my Mother was right I didn't laugh at all. In my early years she would tell me that coming from such different cultures that she felt we always got the best of both worlds- the hands on parenting with steady consistence rules and expectations from my German family and the constant affection and entertainment from my Mexican relatives.

And then I moved to Texas.  I've written in the past about my love for cowboys and meeting a real life John Wayne was one of my big motivations for moving to Texas. Well I met one... two years ago... and I learned an important life lesson. Some cowboys are jerks.

To read the second part of this post click here.

Rules to Happiness #57

Happiness is a conscious decision.

Rules to Happiness #56

There is no greater revenge than being happy.

Rules to Happiness #55

Like in dance, in life the right partner makes all the difference.

Rules to Happiness #54

Some people should come with a warning label.

Never love anyone who thinks that you are ordinary.

-Oscar Wilde