Have you noticed...

When it's time for Gabbie to leave the house...
"NO GABBIE!!! DON'T Leave!!!!! STAY with ME!!!!!"

When it's time for Mama to leave the house...
"No MAMA!!! DON'T leave me with Gabbie!"

When Gabbie decides to stay home.
"NO GABBIE!!!! I don't WANT you here!!! Go AWAY!!!!"

When Jim walks into a room...
"Oh my favoritest Jimmy, Jim, Jim, Jim!" 

When Jim leaves a room...
"Oh my FAVORITEST Jimmy, Jim, Jim, Jim!" 

When Jim is just in the room...
"Get out of the way you stupid CAT!"

When Gabbie is gone all weekend...
"GABBIE!!! Go AWAY!!!!"

When Gabbie walked down to the mailbox and back...
"GABBIE!!! I missed you SOOOOO MUCH!" 


When Jim is in the way...
"Move you STUPID cat!"


When someone in is in Jim's way...
"WHat!?! I didn't see him?"


When Gabbie falls asleep...
"GABBIE!!!! Come out and PLAY with me!!!! I NEED to be with YOU!!!!!"


When Gabbie is WIDE awake...
"I don't want to be around you Gabbie.  Find your own thing to do."  


I guess what I'm trying to say is... I don't think the world is what she thinks it is.

Perspective is hard to come by

A year can do so much.  Some of you may remember my blog post about bluebonnets (and if you don't here is the link to the bluebonnets story) but since then I have learned a lot.  I complained about not being able to understand Texan idioms and pronunciations, and yet, a small part of me will always be offended by the fact that I cannot pronounce Guadalupe as it was intended and still be understood.  But at the same time I have changed. 

Back in April I received a response to my bluebonnet story from Shortround968 and I fully admit that I laughed.  As a fellow California she told me about her trouble with understanding Texas culture and lingo and I was so excited because I thought, "Oh thank GOD!  It's not just me!!!!"  Now I read the comments from her and I smile.  A year ago I would have been down right indignant right along with her.  Now I just roll my eyes and think, "You will be assimilated.  Resistance is futile."  I hope things have gotten better for her because Texas, sorta like Beer, is an acquired taste.  

On a recent trip back to California I realized two things- first that California will always be part of who I am.  I was born there, I grew up there, my family is there, and  part of me is still in love with California.  The second thing I realized is that as wonderful as California is, I will never be able to live there again.  I've changed too much and I belong there as much as a Cicada belongs in the arctic.  Given the opportunity to move back I don't know who would fair worse- the Cicada or me.  

Mother always told me that you can never go home again.  She might have been right, but that's because home is where the heart is... and my heart doesn't beat in time with California anymore.  

I was telling a friend recently that two years is a long time.  Two years ago I was falling in love.  Two years ago I had a plan, I was in grad school, I had four jobs, and I knew what I wanted out of life.  Two years ago I had never owned anything of greater expense than my cowboy boots.  Two years ago I would have followed my big brother to the ends of the earth.  Two years ago my entire identity was in connection to other people.  Two years ago I was angry and hurt.  Two years ago I was still a child.  Two years ago I was lost.  I'm sure that someone out there is wondering why I'm always looking back, at how things have changed and where I came from, and there is a reason.  Sometimes you have to look back to see how far you've come.

Things I didn't expect I would need to learn

I flatter myself to think that I am capable of keeping a pleasant conversation... at least when I'm not petrified of repercussions usually leading back to my family.  In most circumstances I can chat with almost anyone about most things and hold my own without screwing things up too badly.  However, this week I was reminded that I am wrong and that there are certain things that I really ought to keep to myself.  This is my list of things I didn't expect that I would need to learn at the archaic age of 23. 

1.)  Try not to mention that I have eight brothers young men who think I'm cute.  It scares them.  Also, avoid telling said young men that they're all the size of linebackers.
2.) Never share a jelly donut with a five-year-old because their sole desire while eating the donut is making it impossible for you to remain clean.  

3.)  Don't mention to beginner dancers that I have broken many toes when my partner stepped on my feet.  Also avoid bringing up being dropped on my head by said partners.  

4.)  If a complete stranger ask me why you moved to Texas, don't say, "God," or if you do, don't leave it at that.  

5.)  Avoid asking questions that begin or end with an answer that requires knowledge of comic books more specific than Marvel or DC.  
6.)  Don't stop strangers to ask if they have the Patriots insignia on their shoes, shirt, car, etc.

7.)  Try not to speak of any injuries that may or may not have occurred while dancing.  It scares them- both for your safety and theirs.  See #3.
8.)  "Gabbie" sounds a lot like "Daddy."

9.)  When people ask me anything personal, lie.  There are lots of creepy people out there.  

10.)  Don't laugh when people ask "So are you Catholic or something?" I should also avoid responding with, "or something?"
11.) You can convince small children to do anything if you are holding a plate filled with cookies.  
12.) Avoid telling Texans that I am from California.  Don't laugh when they say, "Really? You aren't blond?... or tan?"
13.) Not every one needs to know that my grandfather was a wetback and swam the Rio Grande, least of all complete strangers.  They don't believe me... even when I tell them my last name and pull out my ID to prove it.  
14.) Don't ask how old I look.  They never get it right and laughing at them usually upsets them. 
15.) When asked to wear my hair down by my goddaughter, don't be offended when the Captain, says, "Wow, Gabbie, your hair is scary."  Now we know why my hair is always up.

New Experiences

I have lived in Texas for three years now and in those three years I have had many new experiences.  Many of these experiences were things I never expected (or in one case, wanted) to do in my life.  I've gotten lost in the city and the country.  I've had a devil of a time understanding local pronunciations (i.e. Guadalupe Street is locally pronounced "Gwah-dah-loop").  I've walked through cow fields and come face to face with cowboys and truckers and run into more critters than I care to mention.  I've worked on vehicles of multiple shapes and sizes, including a pickup truck, and actually managed to fix something.  I've come face to face with a horse who weighed about six times as much as I do.  I've learned to change a tire and gas and I've even learning how to mow the lawn.  This week I can add another thing to my list of things I never thought I would get to do in this life time.  

That's right people, I now know how to fire a gun.  Alter your travel plans as necessary.