Not really lost.

Whenever you aren't sure where you're going you need to look back at where you have been.

Not just a childhood game

A few weeks ago I was out... with the kids... for a walk... in a graveyard.  The children and I merrily explored the archaic park, and reading the names of people who had died centuries before either of us were born. The General managed to spook a rabbit and send it flying across the graves, barely touching the ground as it skated away.  Napoleon and Attila entertained themselves by picking up and relocating snails, all in the search for empty shells.  I tried to discourage this.  I wasn't too worried about it until Queen Victoria started screaming.

Before I continue I would just like to point out that Victoria has never been a child to scream unnecessarily.  In fact, she is normally rather regal in her attention to presentation, pun intended.  This was not a normal occasion.  

Queen Victoria began racing towards, hollering at the top of her lungs, and nervously searching the ground with her eyes in her haste.  While I considered the oddness of her behavior she ran up to me and wrapped her arms around me. Strangely enough, this was the instance that I realized that something might be amiss. 

"Snake! In the grass!" she gasped.  She eeked. She shrieked.  She pointed to where she was standing and put more distance between her and the legless creature.  

I looked to where she had been wandering and saw the distinct image of a six foot long rattle snake.  At least I think it was a rattle snake.  I did not dare get close enough to confirm this or Victoria would burst into tears.  That and getting bitten on a lazy Saturday morning where I was the "adult" in charge of four smallish children did not strike me as the wisest of decision.  

Suddenly Attila, Napoleon, and the General were right at my side.  

"Snake? In the grass?" Napoleon questioned with big eyes, the delight evident in her questions.  She eeked.  She shrieked.  Victoria pointed to where she had just been and then I caught my youngest goddaughter by the collar before she tried to get a closer look at the offending creature.  

When I was a child I remember playing a game called "snake in the grass" but as near as I can recall the entire point of the game was to scream and run away.  I think I need to teach this game to Napoleon.  She really is a gem but I wish she had greater sense of self preservation and a healthy fear of creatures more dangerous than her. 

Things I wish I could tell my 18-year-old self

This week I was asked to give the son of a friend some advice before he heads off to college.  She wanted something inspiring, something helpful to pass onto him.  Then she asked me, "What would you tell your eighteen-year-old self if you could?"  The more I think about that question the more I get lost in memory.  Eighteen was a good year for me but there are still a few things I wish I had known.  Here are a few things I wish I could tell my eighteen-year-old self.

1.) It won't always be okay; anyone who says differently is lying. 

2.) When you meet bullies, fight back.  Even if it makes waves. 

3.) Brothers are great but brothers won't be around forever. Learn to do the hard things in life yourself. 

4.) Be bold and say what you are thinking. People might like it and if they don't, well, you were never going to be friends with them anyways. 

5.) People with purple hair are always interesting to meet and have long conversations with. Bonus points will be awarded if those people have piercings and tattoos. Having either of these are not a moral choice and some day you will have all of those.  Just not the tattoos... yet.

6.) Wear big earrings. Those homeschooling moms are going to gossip about you whether you dress and act like them or not. Don't sweat it. Some day you will find people who will love you for who you are not what you wear. 

7.) Take care of your phone. By the time you are twenty you will have destroyed eight phones and that is a legacy that you haven't lived down yet.  

8.) On possible boyfriends: if he makes you happy be happy but if he only makes your parents happy move on. Everyone will be disappointed but you won't have to wonder later. 

9.) Don't sweat the small stuff.  A lost earring or a broken shoe is not the end of the world. 

10.) Please learn to talk in front of cute boys, even if you don't think you have a chance with them. Don't hold people at arms length. Don't be mean to boys you have a crush on... it doesn't get easier as you get older. 

11.) It is okay to grieve.  It is okay to be cry.  It is okay to be weak.

12.)  If people don't believe you when you tell them the truth that makes it their problem not yours.  Don't doubt yourself.  If you don't believe you, no one will. 

13.) Cars are not gender biased: please learn about them. Learn how to change a tire, how to check your oil, how to change windshield wipers, how to replace your tail lights, how to put gas in the car.  Just learn. It's easier than asking a stranger when you are in your twenties.

14.)You are awesome. Some day YOU will save a life and someday you won't; that doesn't make it your fault. 

15.) Don't hold a torch for anyone.  People will disappoint you.  You will learn to forgive them and if not move on at least you can let go. 

16.) Call Mama and Daddy every Sunday.  Even when you're mad.  Especially when you're mad. 

17.) Change is inevitable; growth is optional. 

18.) It won't always be okay, but you'll be okay. Happiness is a choice no matter what the predicament. 

The incident with the grocery cart

I have many funny stories from work.  Unfortunately for me I can't tell very many of them.  Equally so I cannot share all of my funny stories from home.  And I am willing to share maybe two funny stories from when I hang out with my friends.  This funny story I can share because

Well, I had a great Tuesday! I went grocery shopping and in my infinite adult wisdom I decided it would be a lovely idea to ride my overly full grocery cart... down a hill... on a ramp.  I assumed I would be perfectly safe because there were guardrails on either side and I could see if anyone was coming.  Okay, maybe I could see a few feet in front of me.  It was exhilarating as I sped down the hill, the wind rippling through my hair, the plastic bags cracking.  What I didn't factor in was that something might fall off the cart, most importantly, me.  

An improperly loading twelve pack fell off the front and where a few seconds before I was flying through the air on my grocery cart, I began to fly through the air sans grocery cart, head over handle bars.  Did I mention that I was also wearing three inch heels at the time.  Don't worry.  By the time I stopped moving, I wasn't wearing my shoes anymore.

And that is how I hurt my ankle, riding a grocery cart.  If there is a boring way to do things I haven't found it yet.

Caffeine Horror Stories

A few weeks ago now an interesting thing happened in our house.  For years Tia has always made the coffee but in recent months I tried to take on this role.  This was largely due to the fact that Susan would be out of the house in the morning and would either make her own coffee or pick some up elsewhere.  This was... catastrophic to my mornings.  

I frequently tell people that I managed to make it through living in California with eight brothers, going to college with a double major, and working four jobs the first year I was in California without drinking more than a half dozen cups of coffee but living with five children made my morning dose of brown lava something of a necessity.  As my youngest goddaughter likes to tell people, "Gabbie is a much nicer person once she's had coffee."  Have I mentioned how adorable she can be?

Anyways, shortly after I started making the coffee, after I stopped making mistakes and actually got it out of the carafe in a timely fashion, after all that, I started having trouble sleeping.  Not that this is really unusual.  Anything from climate change to impending visitors can mess up my nocturnal habits so I really didn't think anything of it... until Tia made the coffee again.

I remember thinking, "mmmm... it doesn't matter how good I get at making the coffee, Tia always makes it better."  

When I asked her why she had started making coffee again she smiled and said, "Because you didn't cut the regular beans with decaf beans."  I stopped and stared, mouth agape. "Have you been having trouble sleeping?" she asked with a cheeky grin.  I blinked and then said, "This explains so much!"  Clearly, no matter how old I get, I will always need someone to check up on me.  

Stupid coffee.