Some days I jokingly call myself a zookeeper. After all, half the children's nicknames are animal names- Bear, Bird, Monkey... I recorded half the things that the children did in the course of a week I would never lack for material. This weeks short story happened at dinner time.
I (the god baby who's name starts with "I"- not me) decided that the time had finally come for her to try and eat G's head. ... ... ... ... Now that you are done laughing (cause, you know you were)... Actually she was just waving around her bean and salsa covered fork. Poor G, who had the misfortune of sitting next to her, got a considerable amount of bean and cheese and salsa in his hair. I then told him that he would have to wash it out of his hair or I would start calling him (cue the creepy intro music) BEANZO!!!! This might have been funny and fairly entertaining if G had not immediately turned to his sister and said, "BEANZO!" I, who had started the whole trouble in the first place started whining. I (me) informed G that it was a joke and that she was not the Beanzo, but he was the one covered in Beans. Somehow during this, R started talking about her godmother, Becky. Becky = Beanzo, or so the kids thought. This brought R to angst so I told them that they were not allowed to call R's godmommy, "Beanzo". Apparently wisdom does not come with age because I failed to see the loophole until it was too late. Soon every one's godmommy, grandmommy, real mommy, and aunt had been called "Beanzo," leaving almost all the children very upset with me.
Every so often things gets outlawed in this house- the word "Mango" during Jip's teenage years, John Williams is the Man intro, the Animaniacs theme song, the word "hate", lice, and anything originally said by Goofy. Today I added a word- the "B" word... Beanzo. And the moral of the story is, don't interrupt your siblings when they are concocting names to call your godmommy- or better yet, don't let thegabbielady speak... ever. I'm such a bad influence.
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