When I was in college I had this bad habit of writing down funny things my professors said  instead of what they were actually lecturing about.  In the long run this has helped me retell stories and remember college with fondness. 

From Theology I learned...

How can all these things exist, having been, are, and will be?

*My classmate said this while writing in Hebrew* "And God said let there be light... Ah dangit!"

From Philosophy I learned...

No matter what path you choose, there will be suffering.

Seeming to be right and actually being right are two very different things.

Politicians are trained in the art of sweet-talking to get things done.

Death could be a blessing.

Life is suffering; you cannot avoid it.

They might be able to say things about you, even kill you, but they can’t hurt your true self, your spirit.

From Irish History I learned....

The truth is very unpopular.

I don’t know, it’s nice to have these long standing records of futility.

It’s not good form to maul your Juniors for form.

At one point do you stop researching other peoples lives… and start living your own?

“How do I know what I think until I see what I say?” –E. M. Forster

Who's been living in an Ethiopean Refugee Camp to like the food here?

From European History I learned....

Blowing stuff up is bad for business.

Yes, there should be freedom of religion because it becomes a big bloody war otherwise.

Early puritans are genuine radicals. So virtuous.

Whoever is for you is a genius; whoever is against you is deeply misled.

There’s nothing like a common enemy to unite the colonists with the home country.

Gratitude is not a political virtue.

Castro is the last of the dinosaurs; the last communist dictator.

Everybody gets together to bash the English. Increasing numbers of discontented people.

Pragmatism means that reason isn’t everything.

Kooks with Nukes worry me.

From American History I learned....

Different ways of viewing the same thing with varying sensibility causes revolutions.

If you want to save your soul, go to a monastery. If you want to save the world you have to go to Washington.

People are just awful. *misquoting St. Augustine*

What usually prevents mob rule is tyranny.

Malicious people are pretty rare. Stupid people are everywhere. –historical poetry

Factor in a very large amount of human stupidity in history.

There is nothing in politics that can’t be abused.

We have bad governments and worse governments. The best we can do with politics is limit the evil.

The power to tax is the power to destroy.

Virtue is a mean between two vices.

Fake it till you make it is how it works in Politics.

Mercy is a good thing sometimes. *about Shay’s rebellion*

When you don’t have an external looming threat it is impossible to get American politicians to unite and behave.

There’s no way to avoid the cause of public interest. Whoever wins says they have it.

Journalists are jackals. They exist to ruin people’s reputations. They make their living on blood in the water; if there isn't any blood they put some blood in the water.

From my Classmates I learned...

Please forgive me and insult Boston in retaliation.

I interrupted a very profound thing with a very obvious thought.

I don't believe you; your snickering tears don't fool me!

He would’ve grooved on the fact that the virtuous yeomen farmers beat up the Englishmen. *About Thomas Jefferson*

He dies?” *about Don Quixote*

WHY did the Greeks and Romans need to learn to write!?!

Yes, but if you blow them up you'll probably kill more people.l

While bobbing head up and down with entire body movement "I'm really, really, I don't know..."

"This is lipbalm not chapstick."
"What's the difference?"
"One makes your lips nice and shiney?"

There is happy medium between 'nun' and 'skank'.

That could've just made a mark on the wall.
That could've just made a mark on me.