The Not Dead Cat

This is not a reference to my geekiness, Big Bang Theory, mutants, Pirates of the Caribbean, the zombie apocalypse, or Schroedinger's Cat.  Perhaps that first thought was a moot point.  Two years ago this July began the longest 40 days of my life.  I'd love to say that is was a time of personal growth and something that I embraced and enjoyed, but then I would be lying; then again if I were lying you would never know, so let's say that I learned a lot and am a better person because of these days.  Also, if the world were suddenly taken over by zombies I would die of loneliness and boredom by day one.  Anyways, everyone who was friends with me during the months of July and August of 2010 were aware that my cat was not dead (at least according to Facebook).  What they don't know is the why- allow me to set the record straight. 

In May of 2010 I graduated from college in Ave Maria, FL, traveled across the state to Fort Lauderdale, flew back to Orange County, and then drove home to Round Rock Texas, three days before my best friend's wedding.  Then I rested... for all of a week before my Texas family received the most terrifying email and the date was set for their farewell to travel to Ukraine to find the part of their family that was still missing.  I'm going to gloss over the month of June as the only part of it that I remember is re-watching Joss Whedon's Firefly (again) paired with copious amounts of coffee followed by rum and coke.  I drove them all down to Houston and then returned home.

And then they were gone.

The first night I paced the floor rather than attempt to sleep in a silent house while I replayed images of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre over and over again in my head.  The next morning (after a gallon of coffee) it hit me that I was alone in a state where I knew all of three people I wasn't related to by marriage (my best friend's sister-in-law, Katrina, my soon to be roommate, Bronwyn, and my neighbor Elaine).  Right before they left the country my godmother asked, "Are you going to be okay?"  And I blanked and said my one great fear of being alone in Texas- that I was going to accidentally kill the cat.  She laughed so hard over this that it became a sort of joke.  You know those weird ones where they are only funny when you are a) extremely tired, b) extremely stressed, or c) both.  Well we were c.  So when they left for Ukraine I thought I'd keep them abreast of the situation with the cat via Facebook, our only means of communication. 

The following, beginning July 3rd and going through August 10th of 2010 is my daily musings about my cat, Jim.  I might add some explanations in the bylines and hopefully you will find it as funny as I do. 

Day one: didn't kill the cat yet.  It was the first day.  I had spent most of the night up with the cat, pacing he floor as he yowled for company, yet he was still strangely skittish of my presence.

Day two: cat still alive. Had breakfast with Jim's Tim. Quite possibly the most embarrassing moment of the summer.  I was invited to join a group of the choir members for breakfast and the local seminarian was there.  Halfway through the meal when I finally managed to talk to the seminarian he told me his name and I that this MUST be Jim's former owner- because how many seminarians named Tim in the Austin Diocese could there be?  Answer: more than I could imagine but either way I was right.  Unfortunately I discovered this by screaming, "I have your cat, Jim!" at an appropriate lull in everyone's conversation.  First impressions- they never go away.

Day three: cat is doing well, if not annoyed at my late awakening caused by a dose of benadryl last night. No wonder I was so exhausted. In retrospect I realize that I was probably just crashing from sleep deprivation. 

Day four: I got even with the cat for waking me up AGAIN. Tee-hee-hee-hee. He's still alive btw. By this point Jim had discovered that he could climb up on my bed and paw my nose until I awoke to get my attention.  It worked surprisingly well excepting that I am ungraceful waker and usually threw him across the room in my sleep or rolled over.  He learned to move fast and I learned to close the door. 

Day five: for the first time in almost a week, Jim didn't wake me up. This might have something to do with the laundry basket incident yesterday or maybe the door. Either way it was a blessing because I think I'm sick today. Huzzah. I always get sick when I am stressed.  I was very stressed by this point.  The laundry basket incident refers to me doing laundry and Jim jumping in said laundry.  So I flipped the empty basket over on him and started folding the laundry on top of the basket.  He got out and wouldn't come near me for the rest of the day, but oh that night. 

 Day six: cats fine but I feel sick. Next time he wakes me up at six I'm going to do more than push him away.  Like yawn in his face.  Evidently he didn't like my morning breath. 

 Day seven: a whole week and the cat is not dead. Now if only he would stop having bad reactions to feeling ignored I might be able to live with him. And so the job search continues.  I was also looking for a job to last me through the summer- any job.  Jim was feeling abandoned because there weren't many people around.  As bad as I handle being alone he is undoubtedly worse. 

 Day eight: cat still alive. Life goes on. Anticipating better days. :) I think this sums it up. 

 Day nine: Jim didn't wake me up but still alive. I woke up at 5.30 on accident and didn't notice until I got to Church.  Yes, alarm clocks are good things.  They are even better when your cat doesn't reprogram your timezone. 

Day ten: cat makes mess... has new job... a real one this time.  I got the job, and the cat threw up to congratulate me.  This was also the day I learned to work the carpet cleaner. 

Day eleven: didn't wake up to cat... or alarm... or weather... or neighbor. Today might be good. Btw, cat's still alive.  Yes, once I tried to sleep in the world was against me.  I'm not sure what was happening this day. 

Day twelve: cat still alive. Uneventful... Gabbie is learning more trades. By this I mean that Gabbie was learning how to mow the lawn. 

Day thirteen: an entire day away from the cat. Feliz cuple anos Snow Princess Nieve Schnee.  I have no idea where I was. 

Day fourteen: cat is doing fine and I think this day is going to be good.  Ha! Famous last words!  At this point I was trying to think positive. 

Day fifteen: ah yes, Jim. Your favorite part of the day... when you wake me up and I feed you. Very nice, sugar, stinky, fish smelling cat.  He might've been growing on me.  After all, we were alone, together, all the time. 

Day sixteen: cat still alive... nothing else to report.

Day seventeen: cat alive... today will be better than the weekend, as in, I will get sleep and cleanup... again.

Day eighteen: I really love my brother... cat still alive... life is good. I finally got hold of someone in California and had someone to talk to.  I was lonely. 

Day nineteen: in which we realize it was all so worth it. Oh, and the cat is still alive. I think this was the day that the adoption paperwork started going through, but I could be wrong. 

Day twenty: Cat still alive... everything else is irrelevant today.  Code for- it was a REALLY BAD DAY and I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT!!!!

Day twenty-one: ze cat iz steel alyve et Gabbie iz stoopid.  This was the time for silliness.

Day twenty-two: my cat is still alive... but I ran over a baby gecko this morning. I didn't even know we HAD baby geckos.  I had forgotten this and was extremely excited this week when I found a gecko again.  Apparently it took them two years to dare to come back. 

Day twenty-three: providing dates to the dateless may be an act of mercy and rewarding in its own way... but it is exhausting when the children who fall asleep are almost as tall as me. Cat still alive. Nothing else to report. I don't remember who's kids these were but I remember thinking of it as an act of mercy. 

Day twenty-four: I love this life I live... even when it's exciting... like today. Cat still alive.  My friend Lisa posted and asked the question, "After more than three weeks, I am still confused. Do we WANT the cat to live?" I wish I had an answer to this one. 

Day twenty-five: more than half way there... I hope... cat still alive... didn't forget the trash today... and I'm gonna get out of the house tomorrow. Life is good.  Please note: I say "more than half way there" but really I was thinking, "I hope we are more than half way there."  I spent lots and lots of time alone at home... except for work which was a drudgery. 

Day twenty-six: counting down the days that seem to all end in a maze... come home soon and brighten this gloom... it's been a long time (and you're never allowed to leave again) and it has not been sublime... and perhaps I'll lend back your well spoiled cat.... who is still alive. A poet I am not. 

Day twenty-seven: where do the days go? The cat might know... he's still alive btw, he just doesn't care to behave. Nothing serious, just a pain.  This is still true.

Day twenty-eight: I just want to go back to sleep... but the cat is still alive. I hate being at work at 6am to sit at a computer. My not quite boyfriend pointed out the next day that "You realize that by this point in time... you've missed day 31 as well as day 29." And I cried.  I had been so busy with real life that I had forgotten to update.  It was a blessing. 

Day thirty: AGH I MISSED A DAY!!!! WHERE DID IT GO!!!! Anyways, life goes on. Cat still alive. He woke me up this morning by batting my nose. I batted him back and now he's irked with me.  I feign shock and anger. 

Day thirty two: Why do I keep missing days? Maybe because I am too busy trying to catch my cat who decided to take a walk outside yesterday. Oh, he's still alive...but I think I'm ready to kill him. *menacing evil glare* The first time I had ever seen Jim willingly go outside.  He sat on the porch and looked out at the world, terrified by all the outsidedness.  And then he ran back in. 

Day thirty-three: well technically its not, but I plan on sleeping tomorrow, dealing with bees, mowing the lawn, and doing laundry. That being said I'm sure I'll forget to update this status for those that it is intended for. I hope your travels are going well, or at least better than when I last heard. I miss you very much and I cannot wait for you to come home. Jim's still alive but he's lonely and I think I am too. At this point I gave up thinking that anyone else was reading my statuses.  Really I should have just posted this on my blog. 

Day thirty-four: to quote a few country songs- "Up! up! Up! up! Up! Can Only go UP from here!" "And I thought I was tough." "Come home soon?" "People in Texas are crAAAAAAAAzy!!!!" Well, that last one's not a song, but it should be. Cat's still alive btw.  I still need to write that song about the craziness of Texans.  It would still be accurate... but now I've been assimilated so perhaps I should title it, "We're all crazy here." 

Day thirty-five: ow. Cat still alive. We have softpaws. Bronwyn helped me put them on him.  It hurt.  A lot.  Softpaws are like rubber caps for cat claws so that they can't claw anything.  The problem being that cat's generally hate softpaws. 

Day thirty-six: fb has lost all pictures. I think I made a new friend... and the cat is still alive. TWO MORE DAYS!!!!! Ha, yeah.  This would have been my friend Brittany, who is still a friend and is still in college but when she's in Austin we hang out. 

Day thirty-seven: La-la-la-LA!!!! I'm not mad! I'm not mad! I wear funny hats and have nonsensical tea parties, BUT I'M NOT MAD!!!!!! (cats still alive btw) I was a little crazy. 

Day thirty-eight: :) cat's still alive- I feel dead... and it ain't over till I say its over. This was August 10th, the day that my family was flying back from Europe.  I was running around like a crazy person, helping Bronwyn move out, cleaning the house, and tracking down all the car seats and booster seats I would need for the children, all of which I still managed to screw up.

This would have been day forty but I was lazy.  

I suppose now would be the time to restart the countdown with life as we know it being altered... but technically that started Monday night... so it wouldn't be accurate. Welcome to Texas my three newest cousins.