Why parents should not buy duct tape

My reasoning in my belief that parents should not buy, own, or borrow duct tape falls into my concurring belief that everyone should avoid temptation.  This might seem rather ridiculous because, after all, most people use duct tape for it's intended purpose, or something along those lines, but on more than one occasion I have consider (fantasized really) about using it for it's unintended purpose.  Namely, to use this....

to do this...

Or this...

Or this...

(Admit it- who WOULDN'T do that to Megan Fox?)

Or this...

Or this...

Hopefully I'm not alone in my crazy ideas but who among us hasn't considered running away from their children, or hiding in the closet?  Today, when Tia asked me to see if the children were done, I responded that they should be done cooking by now, and I was semi-serious.  Oh ho ho, children.  It is not Baba Yaga or the wicked witch who lives in the woods with the candy house that you should fear- it would be me. Mwahahhahaha.  

Lest I seem too demonic let me illuminate the fact that I never ever considered the alternative uses of duct tape until Four and Six spent ten minutes begging me to buy pink, purple, and blue duct tape while waiting in the LONGEST check out line ever!!!!  It was only then that I considered how well the colors might go if pressed over their cheek bones.  Before I forget, I didn't buy the duct tape... or any other kind of tape... no matter how tempting it was.  After all, I am on a budget.  

Lastly I would like to say that as horrible I am for my own private thoughts, perhaps my audience will think better for me because as bad as I am, I never actually did this...

... and instead only posted about it.