It has come to my attention that there are two kinds of blog posts- serious and non-serious. In my real life as a grown-up I come into contact with many possible "serious" blog posts. In light of this epiphany, I am going to ignore the serious things in my life for today and instead reflect on the things I enjoy most... well, one of the things I enjoy most anyways. I'm not sure what I enjoy the most anymore... probably something between a good sourdough bread, tall heels, and rainy weather, and a good historical fiction book/movie, not necessarily all together or in that order. Anyways, back to the subject at hand: pants.
It has recently come to my attention (again) that it has become increasingly difficult to find/buy good pants. First to define good pants- they should be high enough on the hips so as to cover- er, well, the hips, and low enough so as not to cover the belly-button or inhibit movement. They should be snug enough to not fear losing them and loose enough to not outline one's underwear... or breathing habits. They should be cute enough to not seem like granny pants but not so cute as- never mind. I don't care how trendy they are. I know I'm supposed to be "an adult" but I still love the uber shiney, rhinestone covered, glittery, girly-girly-girly jeans. :) Bell-bottoms are a must (it's hard to wear boots otherwise) and they have to be hem-able without cutting off the aforementioned decoration (apparently I'm short and most of my pants have to be hemmed). They have to go with boots and it is preferable that they have pockets. And the most important factor is that they have to, have to, have to have big pockets. I hate wearing purse/carrying a purse/pawning off a purse on whoever is walking with me; pockets are a much better solution.
On the topic of hips- I have them- big ones. That being said I have a relatively smaller waist... which means that unless I get the ultra low, muffin-top-creating, hiphugger jeans, I have to wear a gigantic belt that bulges out the jeans every which way. I tell you- I just can't win.
Why is it that all "decorative" jeans have writing on the butt now? Honestly, I think my butt is nice enough- that doesn't mean I want to draw attention to it and I certainly don't want flashing, glittery writing that says something like "tasty" or "scrumptious." That just seems more kinds of awkward than I would like to say. My butt is not a sweet confection so stop trying to label it as such!
This brings me to my solution of said problem- guys jeans. They're cute- they fit- they have POCKETS (cue the hallelujah chorus), they don't have things written across the butt, and they don't fall off. Seriously, they only lack the glitter but they still have bell-bottoms so its okay. (Well if I go to the special stores I can still get the glitter on my jeans too.) The only problem with these pants is that they are hidden away in the MEN'S section. This wouldn't be a problem except for a lone cute girl like me, standing around in the men's section, trying desperately to understand this strange way of measuring pants (I mean seriously guys- length AND waist?) is apparently a prime suspect for creepy older men. I attempted to bring my tall, handsome brother with me last time, to ya know, scare off the creepy men. AND IT WOULDA WORKED TOO if he hadn't wandered off after the first passing girl.
Anyways, the entire point of this blogpost was to say that I've figured out why guys are so much more cheerful than most women- they get to wear men's pants.
Length and waist makes SO much more sense than women's sizes though. Its really hard to find pants that fit right and are the right length.
ReplyDeleteAlso, what is more fun than dragging your brother along so that you can buy men's clothes, is having your brother drag you along so he can buy girl pants. True story.
I tried to picture a pair of pants that said "scrumptious" when I read that and then had to stifle a giggle.
ReplyDeleteI've pretty much given up on pants. I have the exact opposite problem, that my hips are (relatively) small, and my waist is very high and not much smaller than my hips. If pants fit everywhere else, they're too small in the waist. If they even remotely fit in the waist, they're far too big everywhere else. They're always too long, and petite pants are just slightly too short. You can't really adjust where pants sit on your body, either. My body is really just more suited to an elastic waist, but any pants with that are usually either pajamas or horribly unflattering and designed for someone 45 years older than me. I'll wear pants occasionally, but honestly skirts are more comfortable and make me look better. It's actually possible to find a nice skirt with an elastic waist, and you can change where the waist hits you! Pants look great on some people, just not me.
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