While I have never professed to "like" any of the Twilight books, I do believe that Eclipse is my absolute least favorite for a myriad of reasons- foremost on this list would be Bella, Bella's irrational behavior, Bella's ability to manipulate people, and Bella's complete disregard for anyone else. Bella is my worst nightmare because somewhere out there, far from the maddening eyes of my blog, young girls are seeing Bella as their role model, their ideal, and frighteningly enough, they want to be like her when they grow up. And so I begin my latest installment of book review with the feeble hope that maybe I can stop at least one young girl from idolizing this character.
SPOILER ALERT!!!!!!!! SPOILER ALERT!!!!!!!SPOILER ALERT!!!!!!!! SPOILER ALERT!!!!!!
Recap from New Moon, the last book- starts shortly after Bella's returned from Italy, where in the last book she flew to save Edward's life because the "stunningly beautiful god" can't manage to pick up a phone. Once she and Edward are reunited and the Volturi conveniently find out that Bella knows their uber secretive secret, Edward promises (under duress) to make Bella become a vampire. Then Alice, Edward, and Bella fly back to the land of cold and rain where Bella is immediately grounded, Jacob stops speaking to her, and everyone is mad at her. (Gee, I wonder why everyone would be mad that she flies around the world to put herself in imminent danger against the wishes/knowledge of her closest friends and family? It's a toss up... but it might improve the story?)
Anyways, Eclipse starts out with Bella once again using Jacob as a crutch. Edward is her undying love- I mean he has her undying love- but he's also undying- unless of course Jacob decides to transmogrify into a werewolf and chomp-chomp-chomp Edward's tawny colored head. Then Edward might be dead... and not just undead! But I digress- Edward is her dead love but Jacob is her best friend. (Please note: it is almost impossible and highly illogical to have a best friend who is a guy, especially if he is in love with you. It's just not fair to your bff and your bf.)
Edward and his family realize that Victoria is searching for Bella in order to kill Edward's love just as Edward killed Victoria's love (gasp! I didn't realize that vampires were a vengeful bunch!) Edward ended James, in the first book after he tried to kidnap Bella, eat her, and then turn her into a vampire. Needless to say, he was unsuccessful In order to keep her safe Edward takes Bella to visit her mother in Florida (cause ya know, the big shiney guy won't stick out in the Keys because everyone there is already sparkly.)
When they return Jacob gets over his sulking long enough to tell Bella why Edward really took her to Florida, i.e. to hide her while Edward's family searches for Victoria. They were unsuccessful.
Edward to Jacob: "Do you really think hurting [Bella] is better than protecting her?" (3.188)
Bella is, somewhat understandably, upset, but not because Edward lied to her, but rather because one of the peaceful Vampire clan might have gotten hurt. (To be fair, both are valid reasons to be angry but she never addresses the fact that Edward is treating her like an infant... even though, well you know... she sort of acts like one.)
Jacob to Bella: "Who needs friends?" (3.221) What Jacob really means to say with his question is, "I need you as a friend; don't you need me?" What does his roundabout way of manipulating Bella say about their relationship.
Bella and Jacob makeup, much to the chagrin of Edward who realizes that Jacob is still in love with Bella, and much to the joy of Charlie who is surprisingly happy at this discovery. (Apparently Charlie likes Edward as much as I do but still I feel for Edward who has a girlfriend who just DOESN'T GET IT!) Edward doesn't trust the werewolves (with Bella's safety or her honor) and doesn't believe that Bella will be safe in their company. He asks her to not go to the tribal grounds anymore, largely because according to an ancient treaty with the Quilette (Jacob's tribe) the Cullens may not go on their ground in exchange for the werewolves not eating the Cullens for breakfast. (Mmmmm... rock candy.) "With a sense of astonishment, I realized that Jacob looked dangerous to them. How odd." (3.147) (I repeat, Bella just doesn't get it.)
Edward bribes Alice with a fancy race car (the same car she stole in Italy in the last book) to keep Bella busy while he hunts. Lest we forget, Edward is still a vampire and needs to hunt wild animals or he will lose control and might eat something... or someone. (I think this was just a random plot device provided by Stephenie Meyer to throw Bella back into Jacob's arms. It is kind of sad when even the author cannot decide who she wants the *cough cough* "heroine" to be with. Next time I recommend that Edward stock up on some bagged blood from Carlisle at the hospital.) Bella is annoyed and rather than talk it out with Edward, she does exactly what everyone tells her not to do and runs off with Jacob, much to the annoyance of Alice and the horror of Edward. (Right, what a nice HEALTHY relationship.)
While visiting the Quilette Bella discovers that there are more wolves than the last time she was there. Some treat her as a friend, because, hey, she's still the same old, ridiculously shallow Bella. Some treat her badly because a) she's dating a vampire, the sworn enemy of the Quilette, b) she wants to become a vampire, and I think the best reason, c) she chose Edward over Jacob. (This last one is the reasoning behind multiple teenage girl fights in any universe proving that most of Twilight's drama is not centered around vampires and werewolves.) Jacob thinks that he can change Bella's mind about Edward and convince her that she actually loves Jacob. Albeit a reasonable assumption cause, let's face it, Bella is very easily swayed. So he kisses her. You may imagine the repercussions. Now that you're done with that let me explain. She slugs him. He doesn't feel it (Bella hits like a girl), Edward tries to kill him, Charlie steps in to keep the hormones in check, and Bella breaks her hand (so she hits like an incompetent girl.)
Somewhere in this storyline we get to hear all the vampire's back story.
Carlisle was born in the time of Cromwell and spent much of his youth trying to kill vampires. Ususally they were innocent people who the mob tortured to death but on one occasion Carlisle found one and was attacked. He spent his long life trying to do good in order to redeem himself before God. That is how he became a doctor.
Several hundred years later he found Edward, dying of the scarlet fever in America. Edward's mother could tell Carlisle was something different (distinguishing herself as the one human to ever notice that Carlisle was cold to the touch) and begged Carlisle to save her son. She died and a few minutes later Carlisle turned Edward, thus saving him from the fever. (Ironic isn't it- he's dying from burning up so Carlisle cooled him down.)
Esme tried to commit suicide by jumping off a cliff after her baby died (nothing is ever said of her husband/the baby's father) and some do gooders brought her to Carlisle. He didn't want to see her die so he transformed her too.
Emmett came into being after Rosalie found him, half mauled to death by bears in the forest. He had been hunting them and so was Rosalie. She carried him home and asked Carlisle to save him because she didn't think she had the strength to do it herself. (Notice the running theme of people being brought to Carlisle for help and him "saving them" by biting them into the afterlife?)
Rosalie's story might be the most interesting because it explains why she hates Bella so much. Apparently once upon a time a hundred years before, Rosalie was the belle of the ball (or something like it) in a small town. Everyone loved her because she was beautiful. Her best friend got married and had a baby. Rosalie realized that the only thing that she DIDN'T have in her glamorous young life was a baby. How do you get baby? You get married. So she set her sights on the most eligible man in town, who also just happened to be extremely wealthy. Unfortunately for her he was also voted "most likely to gang rape his fiance and leave her for dead in the night." When Carlisle found her, Rosalie was close to death, so he tried to save her. Rosalie's first actions as vampire was to track down and murder the five men who hurt her and left in the street, never drinking their blood. Carlisle turned a blind eye even though he didn't like her killing; he had hoped that Rosalie and Edward would get together, but Edward showed good taste.
GASP! A CLIFFHANGER! Yeah, I know, I'm losing my touch. No worries, I'll be back later to finish this, but it's too long for one sitting... at least I think so. Stay tuned for Return of the Twichick: In a Funky Moon Shadow part 2.
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