It's February. Although the Calendar might have been a good indicator of the month I was first alerted to it's presence when the Christmas decorations came down and were immediately replaced by pink and red, frilly, lacy hearts in various sizes all emblazoned with the oh-so-original term of endearment, "I love you." I found myself musing as I passed these boxes of chocolates, overstuffed bears, and an assortment of other things at the grocery store and considered that perhaps the pushers of romance would make far more if they added on the helpful words of, "I don't know what it is I did, but I'm really sorry." Better yet, why not add a sonnet worthy of Shakespeare- cause really, guys that are only reminded of Valentine's Day because they have to go to the grocery store, really ought not celebrate it at all and instead say that in the spirit of real love and not ambitious consumerism, men ought to instead celebrate February 15th in the interest of frugality.
One might assume that my disenchantment with Valentine's day is because I am a cynic- it's been a while since I was in any kind of relationship and I have seen more of the worst aspects of them since I graduated than I would care to admit. Of course it might include my childhood fear of a short, winged fellow (escaped from a nudist colony) running around with a healthy interest in archery. Seeing as I don't much care for the Christmas season being terminated in the interest of the next profitable holiday, it would be fair to ignore me all together, and indeed that might be the healthiest option. Nonetheless, this time of year usually brings out the philosopher in me.
There was a time in my life when I believed that love could not exist in the human nature, but only with God. The more I have studied Theology the more I realize this to be true. I can see that God is nothing if not love and it is only through His love that anyone can truly love someone else. As much as I have seen flighty romance and frivolous lust that masquerades as love, I have the living testament of my grandparents, godparents, and parents to prove that love can exist, love does exist, and, in spite of every fallen part of our nature, love still exists. Saint Paul wrote in is infamous letter to the Corinthians,
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.8 Love never fails.
Quite possibly the most famous quote about love in the Bible (and more than likely, ever) it is also a popular reading for weddings. Most people can quote it by heart and I have heard it beautifully written in song. Everyone remembers 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, but how many people remember verses 1 through 3?
1 If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.
I admit that I quite enjoy this quote. I've been reading the first part all my life because it was read at my parent's wedding. Then, at their 25th anniversary Mass, as I sat, filled with apprehension, waiting to read the same Bible verse that they had celebrated with years before, that I found the preceding lines. And I was amazed. How much do we miss when we do not love? How blind are we look with love? How deaf when we do not hear with love? And it finally occurred to me that this passage is not intended to be about a man and a woman, but about every man and every woman. From what I understand this passage is about each individual loving every other individual as Christ did.
Did I really just say that? Am I supposed to love every person I come across? Am I supposed to treat them with kindness and patience? Should I really try to understand where they are coming from or going? Then I look at Christ and realize that He would have and He did and He still does. I'm sure everyone has an opinion on what is the greatest love story ever told, and maybe they might have valid arguments, but really, they would be wrong. The greatest love story ever told is the one that is hardly ever told. It has been written "there is no greater love than this, to lay down one's life for one's friend." Who better than Christ to display this gesture of love? What greater gift is there that never ceases to give?
Did I really just say that? Am I supposed to love every person I come across? Am I supposed to treat them with kindness and patience? Should I really try to understand where they are coming from or going? Then I look at Christ and realize that He would have and He did and He still does. I'm sure everyone has an opinion on what is the greatest love story ever told, and maybe they might have valid arguments, but really, they would be wrong. The greatest love story ever told is the one that is hardly ever told. It has been written "there is no greater love than this, to lay down one's life for one's friend." Who better than Christ to display this gesture of love? What greater gift is there that never ceases to give?
"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another." John 13:34
Perhaps it is because this love from God- this never ending, all consuming, keeps the world turning, died on a Cross with His blood seeping into the ground- is too much love? We don't love ourselves enough to accept this great love and so we have to relegate ourselves to a limited, far more understandable love- the kind with candy hearts and stuffed bears. If love were truly represented on Valentine's Day, there would be broken chains, and glorified martyrs, and crosses. Love is all around but what is obvious to all will never be found. Love is hidden in plain sight.
And that is why, it is so important to show our love everyday. Because how pathetic would it be that the last person you say, "I love you" to, is the One who died for you?
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