The List

When I was twelve my at the time best friend showed me her biggest secret- a list of all the qualities the man she would marry would have.  6'3" was a height requirement.  Carrying a handkerchief was another.  Being born in 1987 or earlier made the list.  Being Catholic did not.  Having a car was preferable.  Having forty dollars in cash on him at all time was a prerequisite.  Willingness to have lots of Catholic babies was important.  Blue eyes or green made the list along with any number of nonsensical things that I could not understand.  The list was three pages long, front and back, single spaced.  My mind was boggled that she could put so many requirements on any possible suitor, not that she lacked any at the age of thirteen. 

Trying to be helpful (and lovingly protective) my Father wrote me a list as well. 

1) Must be born a Catholic
2) Must be a practicing Catholic
3) Must be smarter than you
4) Must not be Mexican*
5) Must like my Father
6) Must not be a seminarian**

*My Dad is Mexican and although this sounds racist- he's not. He's just terrified I'll have a green card wedding out of the compassion of my soul.
**This part of the list was tongue in cheek because many of the women in my family have married ex-seminarians.  It's sort of a running joke only I don't think it's funny. 
Not to be left out, my Mother made me a list too.

1) Must not be a teacher
2) Must have a career or a plan for a career that will support a family
3) Must be a good person
4) Must not be a seminarian
5) Must be of strong moral character
6) Must like my Mother

Pop also wrote a list

1) Must be a real man- none of those wussy boys
2) Must not marry a marine- they're pretty boys and none too bright

My grandfather was a paratrooper so I guess there is a natural rivalry there and I respect him enough not to question that one. 

With all these wonderful helpers, I decided that I needed to compose my own list or requirements. 

1) Must be a practicing Catholic
2) Must be taller than my brother John-Paul
3) My brother Danny must like him

My best friend laughed at me.  We weren't best friends much longer after that.  My Mother tried to alter my list- "He should have a good job".  That is important, but not necessary.  "He needs to take care of you," my Father added.  I smiled and said, "Danny wouldn't like him if he didn't take care of me."   Pop added, "He has to be a good man."  I'm not saying that all Catholics men are good men or that all good men are Catholic, but the "practicing Catholic" covered that one too.  That was my list at the ripe old age of twelve.  Ten years later, I told my godmother and my Texas friends about this list. 

1) Must love kids, one said
2) Must love music, added another
3) Must love animals, a final one said

It seems that everyone had something to add to my list, but my list has not changed- my definitions might have, but the same three things are still required...