Tuesday, December 25, 2012

I should not...

One might think that since I have survived to the age of 24 I should know better than to do the following.
1.) I should not attempt to climb the stairs while balancing a thick, hard bound copy of Bram Stoker's Dracula while carrying a large cup of Lemonade and using my cellphone as a flashlight because it is dark.
2.) I should not tell my just introduced dance partner, who is still learning basic swing steps, that my brothers won't kill him, even if he breaks my toes trying this.
3.) I should not laugh out loud when people ask me if I am "Catholic or something?" In case my name, family, university, high school, and church didn't give it away... Also, I should not respond with, "or something."
4.) I should not tell people my full name.  It's long.  They won't remember it anyways.  
5.) I should not say the first thing that comes to mind when meeting attractive men with unusual names, in particular when I think of geeky things like "Sam as in "Samwise?" or "Ken" as in Barbie?"
6.) I should not assume that young looking guys are students when I am in downtown Austin near the university, because chances are they aren't.
7.) I should not be offended when people do not remember me the fifth time that I've introduced myself.  
8.) I should not try to remove the mop head of a steam mop when it is making a hissing sound.   
9.) I should not start conversations without coffee.
10.) I should really avoid wearing new shoes out clubbing... particularly when I'm still breaking them in.  
11.) I shouldn't laugh when people tell me that I'm good at something, nor should I scoff.  I should also not be offended when they tell me that I need practice.  
12.) I should not pick fights with my cat.  He always gets even. 
13.) I shouldn't let people dig themselves in deeper when they make racial slurs around me.  I should not remain silent either.  
14.) I should not wait for the last chance mass.  
15.) I should not leave my alarm clock in places that I cannot find in the dark.
16.) I should not watch scary movies when I'm home alone.
17.) I should write things down because we all know that I will forget them otherwise.  
18.) I should talk to the people... even when I'm afraid, even when I'm shy, and even when I'm alone.  
19.) I should burn the candle once in a while.
20.) When I leave the house I should turn off the loud radio. 
21.) I should eat before I black out.  
22.) I should close the door before Jim gets in the room when I'm sleeping.
23.) I should not compose sad songs because people think I'm sad.  
24.) I should leave the past in the past.  
All these things I should do... but chances are that I won't.





No comments:

Post a Comment