That being said, the other day I was reading to 10 about the feast days of March and she sighed dramatically. When I lowered the book to ask her what was ailing her she sighed again before responding. "Why aren't there any female saints that died of natural causes and actually got married!?!" I told her there were lots of saints that were not nuns or virgin martyrs. She gave me a quizzical look and I rushed back to the book, searching frantically for an answer- any answer. Eventually, (after much searching) I came across Saint Frances of Rome. Hmmm... I had never heard of her. She couldn't have been that important. It's nice to be wrong.
Frances was born in Rome in 1384 to a wealthy family. She shunned the exciting life of the wealthy and as a mystic (at the age of eleven) she chose to become a nun. She probably would have if not for the fact that her father had promised her to Lorenzo Ponziani. At this time a Father could sell his children into slavery or have her sentenced to death if he desired to and informed his daughter that she would marry Lorenzo. She sulked... and prayed... and sulked, to the point that she made herself sick. She prayed that God would prevent the marriage from taking place. Saint Alexis appeared to her and told her that God was giving her a choice in her life- to recover or not? Frances' spiritual adviser asked her an even harder question- "Are you crying because you want to do God's will or because you want God to do your will?" Frances chose to get better and married Lorenzo.
Frances had already decided she didn't enjoy the public parties and the fine clothing and jewels that went along with the celebration of a marriage. She instead chose to pray by herself and wear simple, uncomfortable clothing, much the embarrassment and chagrin of her mother-in-law, Cecelia.
Frances found a friend in the wife of her brother-in-law, Vanozza. She too had wanted to be a nun but when God called her to marry Lorenzo's brother, she had chosen to take on the role with joy, even if it hadn't been what she wanted. Together the two started serving beggars in the streets, a charity that Cecelia did not approve of. Lorenzo adored his wife and loved her dearly and therefore would not let Cecelia intervene in Frances and Vanozza's charity. It was during this time that Frances gave birth to her first child, Battista. Battista was followed by his brother Giovanni Evangelista and his sister Agnes.
Many civil wars were fought during Frances' life and frequently her husband would be called away to fight. At one point her brother-in-law was captured by Troja, the leader an opposing army. His ransom was an exchange of his life for Frances' son Battista. At first she tried to run but her spiritual director changed her mind, asking her to trust God. When Troja put Battista on a horse to take him away the horse wouldn't budge, even under severe whipping. The superstitious army sent Battista back to his Mother. Later Battista was captured again and was taken away, leaving Frances to pray for his safety. A plague came to Rome which killed Frances other son, Giovanni. A year after his death, her second son appeared to her in a dream to warn her that Agnes would soon died from the plague as well but that God was sending an Archangel to be her guardian Angel for the rest of her life. Her Angel told her to stop fasting and wearing penitential clothing because, "You should understand by now that the God who made your body and gave it to your soul as a servant never intended that the spirit should ruin the flesh and return it to him despoiled."Frances' life was far from boring after that. Marauders destroyed her house and murdered her servants but after they left she turned the remnants of her palace into a hospital, where eventually her husband, frail and old from the wars, and her son, now a young man, would be returned to her. As she nursed her husband back to health she founded the Oblates of Mary, a lay group affiliated with the Benedictines. Forty years after their marriage Lorenzo died. Before his death he told Frances, "I feel as if my whole life has been one beautiful dream of purest happiness. God has given me so much in your love."
After her husband died, Frances joined the Oblates full time, becoming their Superior, finally having the life she had yearned for at the age of eleven. Four years later, at the age of 56 she died, saying,"The angel has finished his task -- he beckons me to follow him."
I like to think that we can learn a lot from Saint Frances. She accepted that sometimes God's plan and your own plan for your life are not always the same thing- and that timing is everything. She learned that happiness, even in sorrow (both as a child bride and as the mother of two dying children) is both a gift and a choice. When life was the hardest for her she tried to help those worse off than herself. She was a Mother and a wife. She was rich and she was poor. She didn't die a martyr but she lived with great sorrow but showed joy. As I said before, I'm not a saint. I don't think I ever will be one... but I also know that with Saint Frances of Rome as an example, perhaps Ten and I will persevere. Onward Christian soldiers.
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