Being a Good Example: Part Four- More than Meets the Eye

A long, long time ago in a galaxy not so far away a real snake of a guy raised his head from the ground, saw this lady out in the garden wearing nothing but a smile and said, "Hey baBEE!!! Eat this shiney, sweet fruit and you'll be brilliant!" And she was all like, "OKAY!" Five minutes later she had her husband doing the same thing because, "All the cool kids are doing it," and about five minutes after that there was an echo throughout Eden that vaguely resembled someone saying, "Oh sh*t!" Thus began the fall of man and the epiphany of clothing... and modesty. 

This is one of those posts that I really didn't want to write, but it all goes back to the being a good example issue, and it has been bothering me again.  And if the fact that it has taken me three years to write this post is any indication- it has been bothering me a lot. Fear not- I'm not going to spend three pages lecturing on why women should wear burkas or shapeless potato sacks.  

Let's talk about one of my favorite subjects- clothes. My fashion sense has never been terribly, well, fashionable. I am capable of dressing to impress when necessary but most of the time I just dress like... well, like me. I like embroidered jeans, shiney shirts, headscarves, and shawls that are three years out of style. I like big earrings and tall shoes and my hair is usually a whirlwind of activity. That being said I like to be comfortable in my clothes. Wearing clothing that barely covers what it is supposed is usually awkward and in constant need of adjusting. If something is too short you have to carefully stand up and pull it back into place. If something is too low you can never bend over. That's gotta be restricting. 

I know that everyone is different. Not everyone has to wear things that are no lower than four fingers from the collar bone. Due to my... curves... I kinda have to. I imagine that really tall girls can get away with showing more leg than I can as well. This might be because they are more graceful than I am, or that they just have more leg. I am infinitely aware that not everyone is me, but these are my rules for modesty. 

1.) I believe everything from three inches above cleavage to just above the knee should be covered for aesthetic as well as modest reasons (not that I don't believe I have a beautiful belly button- I just don't think anyone else should be pondering this fact). 

2.) I believe that fitted clothing is okay so long as it isn't so tight as to look like you were dipped in it.  

3.) I think that if it has "slidies" on the straps it should be treated as underwear and covered.  I believe that there is such a thing as conditional modesty- you wouldn't wear the same thing to church as you would to go to the beach. This is the theory that you wouldn't wear an outfit to go clubbing that you would to go sailing just as you wouldn't wear your Halloween costume (and in particularly mine) to Church.  

4.) Shoulders don't always need to be completely covered provided nothing is going to fall out of your shirt in the process. i.e. bathing suits should cover everything they are supposed to... and nothing should "slip". Likewise panty lines should NEVER be visible- just like I clothing should not be transparent enough to see through. Cause really, I never wanted to know that much about anyone, especially complete strangers. 
5.) Otherwise clothing is fair game.  Clashing, matching, shiny  dull, standard, outdated, and otherwise weird- not a moral choice.  Big earrings, little earrings, no earrings, lots of earrings- not a moral choice.  Long hair, short hair, no hair, blue hair- not a moral choice. Long skirt, short skirt, fitted skirt, loose skirt, pants- not a moral choice. As my roommate from college- Jelly Bean- likes to say, "There's more than a fine line between nun and slut."

I have lots of brothers, lots of cousins, and lots of friends who are, at the core, real men. And that is great. Guys were meant to be guys. God hot wired them to think that women are pretty hot stuff and vice versa. In one of my stupider moments I asked a few of them what they actually think when they see cleavage... or legs... or feminine curves in general. I'd rather not repeat their words but the gist of it was that their minds go exactly where you think it will. And why shouldn't it? You wouldn't give a tiger a piece of meat and then get mad when he starts to eat it. You wouldn't yell at a bee for climbing all over a flower either. It is what they are designed by God to do.

I've had people tell me that I'm just doing this because I am Christian and that I have a lot of obscure, outdated ideas because I went to a series of Catholic schools.  I laugh.  It's not about saving myself for my husband. It's about saving myself. It's about keeping pure what God has made pure. I know I haven't always been the best at that sort of thing. In fact I know that at times I have been downright awful at it. That doesn't mean that I can't grow from my past. And even if God weren't the reason (because, let's face it, he is the reason I do a lot of things) I don't want to be an object. I try to dress modestly as a courtesy to the men I know and the men I don't. I wouldn't want any guy to like me just because of what I look like. 

Yes, it is nice to be appreciated, but it is decidedly unpleasant to be oggled. Yes, fashion has changed over the last few centuries, but the male mind hasn't really changed since Adam. Besides- I like to think that I am so much more than meets the eye.