Hellfire

Eight years ago this fall, California was plagued with a series of wildfires that engulfed an expanse of the state from San Bernardino to San Diego.  Under the guidance of the famous Santa Ana winds, the wildfires grew and killed many people.  15 fires began in under a week, which is now known as the fire siege of 2003.  A number of the fires began on my birthday- it was my Quinceanera.

My Mother, my sister, my dog, and four of my closest friends were in the San Bernadino mountains when the fires began.  We were ordered to evacuate and as we drove down our mountain was engulfed in smoke.  I remember very clearly the smell of smoke in the air- the silent fear that had replaced our laughter- looking down at my feet to see my golden retriever curled up with his head in my lap, his tail between his legs- gazing out the window to see darkness, though it was still day, and the only light not coming from the fleeing vehicles came from the fire that was racing over the next hill.  The sun did not set that day- it was eliminated.

My mind raced to J.R.R. Tolkien's The Two Towers and a line by Legolas.

"A red sun rises- blood has been shed this night."

Later an arsonist was charged with starting them and many people died.  One, a young girl, was a close friend of one of the girls who was with me at my party.  Every time my birthday passes I think of her.

Fast forward to present day.   Austin and the surrounding area is being plagued with wildfires.  Texas has been suffering through a drought all summer and a sudden change in weather brought cooler weather but also heavy winds, which have only fueled the fire.  No less than five wildfires have swept the landscape since Saturday and thousands of people have been evacuated- hundreds have lost their homes- and much of the Bastrop State Park has been consumed.  The Boys Scouts of America, Catholic women's groups, and countless Churches have banded together to bring aid to those fighting the fire, provide shelters for those running from it, and give what they can to those who have lost their homes.  At least two people have died and this morning they suspect arson.

I am far from a good person- in fact I am quite certain I am a terrible person- but this is largely because of my anger.  Every morning that the fires continue, and we can smell the smoke and see the dark clouds in the distance, I have to reassure five small children that everything will be okay- that we won't be evacuated- that the fire will not come close- and I have to lie.  I find it very difficult to tell the children not to be frightened because I'm scared too.  Rationally I know there is very little likelihood that it will come- that we will have plenty of warning- that everyone will be okay.  I remember back in California, the years following the Siege of Fire.  The mountains were black for years- and then I moved away so I don't know if they still look the same.  I cannot think of California without remembering that horrible month where ash rained instead of water.

Two days ago the Bastrop fire- the worst one thus far- jumped the Colorado River- our greatest defense- and hasn't stopped, therefore I find myself asking for prayers.  Prayers for those lives that have been lost.  Prayers for those that have lost everything.  Prayers for Texas and the wild land that won't be the same for many years.  And prayers... for those that started this- I ask you to pray for them... and pray for me that I might be able to pray for them too.