Rules and Choices

"The choices that we make dictate the person that we become." My Mother used to say that and since it is so very somber, I'm sure she stole it from someone else. My Aubelita used to say, "Show me your friends and I will show you who you are." Originally it was said in Spanish but for the benefit of my reading audience I didn't try to spout out my bad Spanish memory. There are certain laws that all people must live by, and that no amount of persuasion will ever allow them to cease. These laws would include the law of gravity, the law of sobriety, and the mortal man's curse. You see where I am going with this.
This weekend one of my dearest friends was in a car accident involving a drunken driver. Everyone of the five people in the car survived and they are relatively uninjured (a black eye, one damaged spinal cord, and one broken arm), but they are survive. I won't examine what they were thinking but will instead examine my choices following my knowledge of the event.
At first I was shocked- my family will attest that I sat there, holding whatever small child would allow me to squeeze them, picturing the events over and over again in my head. Every single time they all ended up dead. Then I moved into fear. "They should all be dead now" continuously played over in my mind followed by, "I could've lost you forever." Then I got angry. I won't replay what I thought at this point because I'm sure anyone's imagination should have sufficient explatives to understand what I was feeling. Then I got stuck, I spent the larger portion of yesterday being angry, and steadily getting angrier and angrier. Finally God intervened and sent me Sasha, who managed to get me past that (still not sure how) and now I've moved into acceptance and, dare I say it, gratefulness.

Choices- at least one person in that car did not make a good decision that night and forgiveness will be a long time coming for me.
Rules- death is forever.
Choices- I have issues with losing people suddenly.
Rules- if any one of those people had died that morning, everyone at the university would be beyond comfort and in many case, scarred for life.
Choices- I will have a hard time forgiving any one who drives drunk in the future.
Rules- gravity is a real downer.
Choices- drunkeness is a real downer too.

Tali if you're reading this, I want you to know that I love you and I am very grateful that I get the opportunity to tell you this. I am very grateful that God gave me the chance to tell you this and I pray that He will always protect you. I am forever in the debt of your guardian Angel and I am so very happy that I didn't lose you. I know I speak for everyone who has ever met you when I say this.