Try not to laugh

That's right boys and girls, er- would I be stretching it to call y'all "ladies and gents"? Perhaps I should just stick to ladies and buggers? Anyways, I promised myself upon leaving Texas that I would take good notes of my trip and tell my adoring fans (when I get them) all about it. As it is, I guess I'm just stuck with you lot. Now back from my tangent- I am sad to report that I failed. Miserably. Again. But to be fair it wasn't *my* fault I had no internet access in CA. If you want to hear the continued adventures of my life (this time with location changes in the subtext) give me a call. After all, I'm off facebook (not including Sundays) for the rest of Lent. So, unless you WANT to wait penitentially for forty days (which I'm sure some of you WANT to wait, perhaps longer) give me a call and I'll tell you all about it. Otherwise, you get the summary.

Friday after work (eight bloody, freaking, grueling hours of it) I cleaned, packed, and pushed my car in ways it has never seen before. After removing the last stowaway (there were five), I managed to close the last door, with considerable effort (remember the pushing?) and was underway. Half way out of the driveway I remembered that I needed to get my traveling companion. Curse you, you blasted carpool lane! So I drove the twenty minutes (in the wrong direction) and picked up Brittany and together we began our magical journey to that magical land for that magical season of what some hazzard to call vacation.


Once enroute the ever so brilliant gabbielady realized she had barely eaten all day and was now suitably famished. Thus aside from the first twenty minutes, Brittany did most of the driving the first night. This left my twitching hands free to take precise notes of our adventures and travels. I would like to apologize in advance to Brittany, my traveling companion, of whom I make most of my notes about. I mean I could've told you about my imaginary friend... but something tells me you wouldn't find that nearly as believable. Italicized comments are those which were made after the fact. Bold happened at the time. Again, try not to laugh.

6.55 get to brittany's

7.10 leave brittany's

7.20 stop at heb for 10 mins to buy everything in the store in order to keep Gabbie from passing out. (please note: never again will Gabbie go shopping when hungry)

8.05 Brittany scares her GPS by going on an unknown road known as Mopac.

8.10 Brittany gives up on her GPS and turns it off in lew of the fact that at this point we knew where we were

9.00 in which I recall my fondness for gas station bathrooms Where's my snarkmark?

9.30 hit fredericksburg-not literally- recieved call from Mother she asked for my license plate number in case we were hit by a tsunami so they could identify our bodies

10.05 stopped car and looked at mapt o figure out where 290 went.

10.10 we discover stars- ha! Beat that galileo

10.33 in which Brittany is excited to see street lights. I laughed mercilessly

10.35 I watch stars- Brittany is told to watch the road

10.38 Brittany and I discuss speed limits to which she commented that without them "I probably wouldn't go more than 90." I responded "pfft- I would!" At which point we realized why there were speed limits.

10.15 We discover dead zones for music. ZOMG!!!! We listened to Once More With Feeling literally five times that night!!!

10.44 in which we spot deer- noted to be still alive

12.45 see large animal cross the road- large animal- cat like animal- hungry looking animal- probably a mountain lion or a bobcat or something!- eep



After this point I started driving more and consequently was unable to keep my notes. Le sigh, however I did continue to write down the funnier comments made upon the trip. Unfortunately, most of them (okay all of them) that I remembered were from the return trip. Oh well. I tried. This is not the say that my time in California was boring- i.e. "Hey Mama, look, a train!", "There's something wrong with this cat," "We should've packed Sasha", "Now Brittany, can you reach into my eye and get it out?" and "Cause this is so much fun I want to do this all the time!" Oh and of course, Disneyland from 9am to 1am. You do the math. And now for more Brittany quotes.

"The mountains are so pointy!"

"It's like the mountains never go away." (Please note, this quote is from the return trip)

On the road back my grandfather asked if our car was full yet and I replied that we had plenty of room- famous last words. He laughed and said, "Wait till we get there." I don't even know half of the things that ended up in there but of the half that I know- we carted two cases of wine, about seven yards of fabric, a full sized kite, a full set of dishes and silverware, and half of my Mother's refrigerator- you know in case we got hungry- and three bags of books and toys for small peoples.

Along the way Brittany and I named our various electronci devices- her ipod, my GPS, and her GPS. Ftr I packed mine by accident (and a good thing too) because mine is way more accurate. Hers is named Jason and mine is named Veronica- because mine shows the truth. Hers is a power ranger who looks really cool but isn't so helpful except for Captain Obvious moments.

I realize this post is very... disorganized to say the least but I'm tired, and I refuse to start the next one until this one is posted and the way things are going I will NEVER finish it otherwise so bear with me. One more bit of random information, I can find no better way to summarize my parental dynamic than to simply regurgitate one conversation with my parents in which my Mother was trying to convince him to get into my car... which I was going to drive. "Come on, Gerardo, it will be an adventure!" she said, tugging on his arm with a brilliant smile. "That's why I don't want to go" he replied sardonically.

So as to my title- if you managed to get through this without laughing, please let me know... I need to "unfriend" you for your lack of humor because even I think this trip was funny. Kidding, y'all need to find a laughing place. :)