Over the past few weeks I have watched more Disney short films than I think I have watched since... er, well... forgive the pun but since I was short. This means lots and lots of music by the Andrews Sisters and even more Donald Duck. Between the Three Caballeros cast, Chip & Dale vs. Donald, and the Mickey Mouse gang, Donald is easily the most reviewed character. What entertains me even more is that Donald, although not a bad person, is usually the butt of the joke and frequently plays the bad guy. Now I'd be the first to say that slapstick humor would be bereft if it were not... well... slapping people and if it's gotta slap someone I'm all for hitting the duck. I don't much care for ducks... or geese. And let's face it anything that WADDLES like that deserves to be dinner. I'd also like to point out that much of my dislike for geese and ducks is a childhood incident in which I was feeding them bread and they decided to attack me.
Okay, back to my point. I'd like to stress that I don't in point of fact hate Donald. Sure I don't like him all that much but why do we as a theoretically mature society enjoy the pain and suffering of Donald? Sure it's hilarious but don't we teach our kids not to laugh at other people's misery? I mean I could be wrong- I think Home Alone is one of the funniest movies out there and the Marx Brothers should be knighted but I don't understand why it is okay to laugh at Donald's misery. Is it because he's loud and obnoxious. Or is it because he generally acts out in anger over things that shouldn't upset any normal person- like finding chipmunks in his Christmas tree, or being stuffed in a box, or continuously being forgotten in lew of Mickey Mouse. Oh wait, those are all things that would upset me. Maybe it's because he tends to act without patience and poise which are considered immature. Again, I'm struck with how often those characteristics describe me. Now it's just a thought, but maybe we don't like him because we see our own flaws in him? Isn't that the main reason why we don't get along with others; because we are too similar? She's too bossy. He's not very organized. Perhaps if we looked closer we could see the virtue in being similar as well as being different. Yet again, it's just a thought.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Random... random thoughts
It occurred to me recently that the days in which I have something to say are not the days when have time to write (scarce as they may be). When I do have time to write I find I have nothing to say. In short- my time is better occupied of late, therefore I have decided to compile a list of quotes from my journal that I thought would entertain you all. Unless otherwise stated, these quotes are by me. Perhaps I will go back later and add to this little list and give context. ;)
A woman should speak her mind, but first, she should have a mind to speak.
It is nothing to give in; it is hard to fight back.
"Facts are stubborn things." -John Adams, second president of the United States of America
Just because two people are wrong for one another does not mean there is something wrong with them.
"The heart does things for reasons that reason does not know." -Blaise Paschal Pensees
"God can write straight with crooked lines." -Dr. Riordan
True friendship means true honesty- with yourself and with the other person.
Mourning is not for the dead.
The things you cannot change you learn to accept.
"God's ways are not man's ways and you should not assume that you know either." Dr. Williams
"What profit is it to a man if he gains the whole universe but loses his soul?" -Dr Williams
"Don't feel stupid... you are human." -Abigail
"Coincidence is God's way of remaining annoymous"
"All we have to dcide is what to do with the time that is given to us." -Gandalf
Nothing is completely out of your control.
"The most terrifying words in the English language are "I'm from the government and I'm here to help." -Ronald Reagan
"By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher... and that is a good thing for any man." -Socrates
"In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years." -Abraham Lincoln
"Every time I think of you- and I think of you often- I thank God." Corinithians 1:4
"Nyquil ont he rocks... for when you're feelign sick, yet sociable." -Mitch Hedberg
When it coems doenw to it, we all only have three things to offer: a bruised body, a broken heart, and a soul torn by sin. God loves us in spite of this.
I look for a stranger: what I see is a mirror.
Words are moer of a caress than hands ever could be.
We are human... which means were are all naturally stupid.
"Life's tough... it's even tougher if you're stupid." -John Wayne
You should not go to bed five times in one day and still expect to get anything productive done.
Roommates are not reliable alarm clocks.
If one has trouble with something every previous year of college, why should one expect this thing to get easier?
Laughter isn't alwyas the best way to react to a problem.
You are never too tired to unpack your alarm clock.
"There are two types of people in this world- guys who have tattoos and guys who wish they had tattoos." -Kilawachuk
"You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream." -C.S. Lewis
"The role of a teacher is to cause his students pain." -Dr. Raiger
"Every write I know has trouble writing." -Joseph Heller
"Being vain does not necessarily constitute being attractive."
"Not as bad does not equal good."
A woman should speak her mind, but first, she should have a mind to speak.
It is nothing to give in; it is hard to fight back.
"Facts are stubborn things." -John Adams, second president of the United States of America
Just because two people are wrong for one another does not mean there is something wrong with them.
"The heart does things for reasons that reason does not know." -Blaise Paschal Pensees
"God can write straight with crooked lines." -Dr. Riordan
True friendship means true honesty- with yourself and with the other person.
Mourning is not for the dead.
The things you cannot change you learn to accept.
"God's ways are not man's ways and you should not assume that you know either." Dr. Williams
"What profit is it to a man if he gains the whole universe but loses his soul?" -Dr Williams
"Don't feel stupid... you are human." -Abigail
"Coincidence is God's way of remaining annoymous"
"All we have to dcide is what to do with the time that is given to us." -Gandalf
Nothing is completely out of your control.
"The most terrifying words in the English language are "I'm from the government and I'm here to help." -Ronald Reagan
"By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher... and that is a good thing for any man." -Socrates
"In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years." -Abraham Lincoln
"Every time I think of you- and I think of you often- I thank God." Corinithians 1:4
"Nyquil ont he rocks... for when you're feelign sick, yet sociable." -Mitch Hedberg
When it coems doenw to it, we all only have three things to offer: a bruised body, a broken heart, and a soul torn by sin. God loves us in spite of this.
I look for a stranger: what I see is a mirror.
Words are moer of a caress than hands ever could be.
We are human... which means were are all naturally stupid.
"Life's tough... it's even tougher if you're stupid." -John Wayne
You should not go to bed five times in one day and still expect to get anything productive done.
Roommates are not reliable alarm clocks.
If one has trouble with something every previous year of college, why should one expect this thing to get easier?
Laughter isn't alwyas the best way to react to a problem.
You are never too tired to unpack your alarm clock.
"There are two types of people in this world- guys who have tattoos and guys who wish they had tattoos." -Kilawachuk
"You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream." -C.S. Lewis
"The role of a teacher is to cause his students pain." -Dr. Raiger
"Every write I know has trouble writing." -Joseph Heller
"Being vain does not necessarily constitute being attractive."
"Not as bad does not equal good."
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Things I should be doing
Yes, I am writing a blog post on things I should be doing... namely because I miss writing for my blog... and I don't want to get started on my to do list... *
Organize my closet
Pull out my winter clothes
Put away my summer clothes
Make my bed
Sleep
Take dress up clothes off my bed so that I can make it
Organize my desk
Hang my hats back up
Do my laundry
Clean out my car
Practice music
Look up fun recipes for dinner
Take off my nail polish and trim my nails (possibly repainting them afterwards)
Put in earrings (possibly even put on makeup)
Eat
Finish the two scarves that I started making... three months ago
Plot world domination
Find cat; do not kill; silence
Apply to more jobs
Write another chapter- pick a book; it doesn't really matter at the pace I'm going
Finish reading Dracula
*At least not yet.
Organize my closet
Pull out my winter clothes
Put away my summer clothes
Make my bed
Sleep
Take dress up clothes off my bed so that I can make it
Organize my desk
Hang my hats back up
Do my laundry
Clean out my car
Practice music
Look up fun recipes for dinner
Take off my nail polish and trim my nails (possibly repainting them afterwards)
Put in earrings (possibly even put on makeup)
Eat
Finish the two scarves that I started making... three months ago
Plot world domination
Find cat; do not kill; silence
Apply to more jobs
Write another chapter- pick a book; it doesn't really matter at the pace I'm going
Finish reading Dracula
*At least not yet.
Friday, September 24, 2010
Pants
It has come to my attention that there are two kinds of blog posts- serious and non-serious. In my real life as a grown-up I come into contact with many possible "serious" blog posts. In light of this epiphany, I am going to ignore the serious things in my life for today and instead reflect on the things I enjoy most... well, one of the things I enjoy most anyways. I'm not sure what I enjoy the most anymore... probably something between a good sourdough bread, tall heels, and rainy weather, and a good historical fiction book/movie, not necessarily all together or in that order. Anyways, back to the subject at hand: pants.
It has recently come to my attention (again) that it has become increasingly difficult to find/buy good pants. First to define good pants- they should be high enough on the hips so as to cover- er, well, the hips, and low enough so as not to cover the belly-button or inhibit movement. They should be snug enough to not fear losing them and loose enough to not outline one's underwear... or breathing habits. They should be cute enough to not seem like granny pants but not so cute as- never mind. I don't care how trendy they are. I know I'm supposed to be "an adult" but I still love the uber shiney, rhinestone covered, glittery, girly-girly-girly jeans. :) Bell-bottoms are a must (it's hard to wear boots otherwise) and they have to be hem-able without cutting off the aforementioned decoration (apparently I'm short and most of my pants have to be hemmed). They have to go with boots and it is preferable that they have pockets. And the most important factor is that they have to, have to, have to have big pockets. I hate wearing purse/carrying a purse/pawning off a purse on whoever is walking with me; pockets are a much better solution.
On the topic of hips- I have them- big ones. That being said I have a relatively smaller waist... which means that unless I get the ultra low, muffin-top-creating, hiphugger jeans, I have to wear a gigantic belt that bulges out the jeans every which way. I tell you- I just can't win.
Why is it that all "decorative" jeans have writing on the butt now? Honestly, I think my butt is nice enough- that doesn't mean I want to draw attention to it and I certainly don't want flashing, glittery writing that says something like "tasty" or "scrumptious." That just seems more kinds of awkward than I would like to say. My butt is not a sweet confection so stop trying to label it as such!
This brings me to my solution of said problem- guys jeans. They're cute- they fit- they have POCKETS (cue the hallelujah chorus), they don't have things written across the butt, and they don't fall off. Seriously, they only lack the glitter but they still have bell-bottoms so its okay. (Well if I go to the special stores I can still get the glitter on my jeans too.) The only problem with these pants is that they are hidden away in the MEN'S section. This wouldn't be a problem except for a lone cute girl like me, standing around in the men's section, trying desperately to understand this strange way of measuring pants (I mean seriously guys- length AND waist?) is apparently a prime suspect for creepy older men. I attempted to bring my tall, handsome brother with me last time, to ya know, scare off the creepy men. AND IT WOULDA WORKED TOO if he hadn't wandered off after the first passing girl.
Anyways, the entire point of this blogpost was to say that I've figured out why guys are so much more cheerful than most women- they get to wear men's pants.
It has recently come to my attention (again) that it has become increasingly difficult to find/buy good pants. First to define good pants- they should be high enough on the hips so as to cover- er, well, the hips, and low enough so as not to cover the belly-button or inhibit movement. They should be snug enough to not fear losing them and loose enough to not outline one's underwear... or breathing habits. They should be cute enough to not seem like granny pants but not so cute as- never mind. I don't care how trendy they are. I know I'm supposed to be "an adult" but I still love the uber shiney, rhinestone covered, glittery, girly-girly-girly jeans. :) Bell-bottoms are a must (it's hard to wear boots otherwise) and they have to be hem-able without cutting off the aforementioned decoration (apparently I'm short and most of my pants have to be hemmed). They have to go with boots and it is preferable that they have pockets. And the most important factor is that they have to, have to, have to have big pockets. I hate wearing purse/carrying a purse/pawning off a purse on whoever is walking with me; pockets are a much better solution.
On the topic of hips- I have them- big ones. That being said I have a relatively smaller waist... which means that unless I get the ultra low, muffin-top-creating, hiphugger jeans, I have to wear a gigantic belt that bulges out the jeans every which way. I tell you- I just can't win.
Why is it that all "decorative" jeans have writing on the butt now? Honestly, I think my butt is nice enough- that doesn't mean I want to draw attention to it and I certainly don't want flashing, glittery writing that says something like "tasty" or "scrumptious." That just seems more kinds of awkward than I would like to say. My butt is not a sweet confection so stop trying to label it as such!
This brings me to my solution of said problem- guys jeans. They're cute- they fit- they have POCKETS (cue the hallelujah chorus), they don't have things written across the butt, and they don't fall off. Seriously, they only lack the glitter but they still have bell-bottoms so its okay. (Well if I go to the special stores I can still get the glitter on my jeans too.) The only problem with these pants is that they are hidden away in the MEN'S section. This wouldn't be a problem except for a lone cute girl like me, standing around in the men's section, trying desperately to understand this strange way of measuring pants (I mean seriously guys- length AND waist?) is apparently a prime suspect for creepy older men. I attempted to bring my tall, handsome brother with me last time, to ya know, scare off the creepy men. AND IT WOULDA WORKED TOO if he hadn't wandered off after the first passing girl.
Anyways, the entire point of this blogpost was to say that I've figured out why guys are so much more cheerful than most women- they get to wear men's pants.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Fall
One of the many things about this first year out of school that I was most looking forward to was Fall. I've experienced "autumn" in Florida and California in my life and I've been in Texas for Winter, Spring, and Summer (oh, how have I been here during summer) but I have yet to experienc Fall here... so this is big.
The coming of Fall brings many joys to my heart- joys I have never before experienced. Included in this is unpacking my winter clothes (scarves, oh how I have missed thee!!!!), winter goth boots (perfect for trekking through the six inch deep rain), and jackets... of which I only have denim. If you're looking for the perfect gift for me, I could use a warm jacket that isn't denim... or decorated with flowers/school emblems. In addition to this I get the joy of decorative squash, edible pumpkin chocolate chip muffins made from scratch (yes, they're even edible... please note: I didn't make them), and newest of all, apple cider. Apple cider should not dared to be confused with apple juice, sparkling cider, or apple wine. Well, maybe apple wine, but it's not the same thing. Steven attempted to explain the difference between apple cider and everything else but once I tried it I realized that no explanation is possible unless you've had it, in which case no explanation is necessary... sort of like God.
In true Texas kindness, though it has been "Autumn" here fore several weeks, we are still experiencing blustery 90o weather... punctuated by the occasional hurricane watch and flash flood warning. Thanks Texas. Fortunately the weather has been cooling down some and we are into the 80's this week... which of course include more soggy weather, overcast days, and endless humidity. Why did I leave Florida again? Who knows, maybe a cold front is coming just around the corner? Or are we up for some more Florida reenactments? I shall wait it out and see what the rest of this Texas experience shall be.
The coming of Fall brings many joys to my heart- joys I have never before experienced. Included in this is unpacking my winter clothes (scarves, oh how I have missed thee!!!!), winter goth boots (perfect for trekking through the six inch deep rain), and jackets... of which I only have denim. If you're looking for the perfect gift for me, I could use a warm jacket that isn't denim... or decorated with flowers/school emblems. In addition to this I get the joy of decorative squash, edible pumpkin chocolate chip muffins made from scratch (yes, they're even edible... please note: I didn't make them), and newest of all, apple cider. Apple cider should not dared to be confused with apple juice, sparkling cider, or apple wine. Well, maybe apple wine, but it's not the same thing. Steven attempted to explain the difference between apple cider and everything else but once I tried it I realized that no explanation is possible unless you've had it, in which case no explanation is necessary... sort of like God.
In true Texas kindness, though it has been "Autumn" here fore several weeks, we are still experiencing blustery 90o weather... punctuated by the occasional hurricane watch and flash flood warning. Thanks Texas. Fortunately the weather has been cooling down some and we are into the 80's this week... which of course include more soggy weather, overcast days, and endless humidity. Why did I leave Florida again? Who knows, maybe a cold front is coming just around the corner? Or are we up for some more Florida reenactments? I shall wait it out and see what the rest of this Texas experience shall be.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
My Odious Vehicle of Choice
So there has been lots of discussion of late concerning my new car. Don't get me wrong, I encourage people talking about me- I rather like it- but I thought I should spend a few minutes talking about my first few days talking about my new car that has merited more discussion than any of my previous accomplishments of the last few months, which include my graduation from college, my cross country move, and my best friend's marriage. Wow... Gabbielady needs a period... or a semi colon. Anyways, my car.
I got the car two weeks ago- it's a PT Cruiser and it's white. We named it Benny... cause it's small and white... sorta like the Pope. In continuing wtih the Disney tradition he is also named after Benny from the Disney classic, "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" It's a 2008, so relatively young, has excellent consumer reports, and safety ratings, and has a backseat, which means I can transport small people with relative ease. It also has working windshield wipers, radio, and air conditioning. This makes it three steps up from any car I was looking at/was driving recently. It's an awesome car. It is a safe car. I like my car- it's bordering on obsessive. And it's MINE!!!! I don't have to share it with ANYONE!!!!
By the way, the only part of my car I do not like is the odious detail that some people are of the opinion that it is not safe. I got it blessed (and got soaked in the process, thanks Matt) so stop worrying- if I die I'll go straight to heaven in a small car named for the Pope and with a name like that St. Peter will let me right in. ;)
The license plates arrived today and they're pretty awesome. Anyways, that's my thought and I'm sticking to it. No one else's opinion matters, however this is not to say that I will decline anyone else approving and standing in awe of my car. Like I said, I like my car.
I got the car two weeks ago- it's a PT Cruiser and it's white. We named it Benny... cause it's small and white... sorta like the Pope. In continuing wtih the Disney tradition he is also named after Benny from the Disney classic, "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" It's a 2008, so relatively young, has excellent consumer reports, and safety ratings, and has a backseat, which means I can transport small people with relative ease. It also has working windshield wipers, radio, and air conditioning. This makes it three steps up from any car I was looking at/was driving recently. It's an awesome car. It is a safe car. I like my car- it's bordering on obsessive. And it's MINE!!!! I don't have to share it with ANYONE!!!!
By the way, the only part of my car I do not like is the odious detail that some people are of the opinion that it is not safe. I got it blessed (and got soaked in the process, thanks Matt) so stop worrying- if I die I'll go straight to heaven in a small car named for the Pope and with a name like that St. Peter will let me right in. ;)
The license plates arrived today and they're pretty awesome. Anyways, that's my thought and I'm sticking to it. No one else's opinion matters, however this is not to say that I will decline anyone else approving and standing in awe of my car. Like I said, I like my car.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
A look into my mind....
So at one point I thought it would be really funny to write a blog post about my random thoughts through out the day. The problem with this is that I am incapable of writing down what I am thinking throughout the course of the day. Therefore... this is the next best thing... what I can remember... and yes, I realize how scant that is. Y'all will have to rough it. This is my day... in thoughts... from when I got up to when I started this blog... with a few minor outtakes.
6.45 am
unnnnhhh... it's still dark out... why am I awake? Oh yeah... Church... and choir... and zzzzz....
6.50 am
dangit. I must get up. I must get dressed. Why didn't I get up earlier? *rush rush rush*
Must get in shower- HELLO IRA! What are you doing... on the floor?... outside my door?... completely asleep? Ah forget it, must get shower so I don't smell like Walmart!
Mmmmm... toothpaste... I love the smell of "not morning breath".
Ah, yeahs, Ira is not asleep there anymore. *rush rush rush*
Why am I always so late Lord? Must get out the door and switch cars and move cars and- HELLO IRA! What are you doing at the top of the stairs? Playing with the cat? Why are you awake, child?
*rush rush rush*
I don't like this car- it's too big. Never volunteering to take anything to the shop EVER again.
*rush rush rush*
Applies makeup in a hurry as I scurry into Church- ten minutes late for choir. Why do I always hit EVERY red light when I'm running late? SORRY GOD!!!!!
Opens door- ah music- crap, every one's staring at me. Good morning, people. Take no notice of the Gabbie lady who isn't really late because it's really all the red lights fault.
We're singing what?
MASS MASS MASS! I love Mass. Why don't I go to Mass more often? Oh yeah, because I like smalls too. And work- no, I don't. I hate work, but that's besides the point. I love my dress. I like wearing dresses..... and tall shoes. I like tall shoes. I don't feel so dang short without them.
MASS!!!
Why is it that Catholics always choose the songs that sound like lullabies for the earliest Mass possible on Sundays? As if I wasn't having ENOUGH trouble staying awake- now the entire choir is singing a song that sounds remarkably like something my Mother used to sing me to sleep with. NARGH!!!!! WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WAKE UP! Must. Get. Coffee.
Ah Jesus, there You are. I was wondering where you had gotten too. I love You, Lord. I've missed you. Why can't I spend all my time here? Because I have enough trouble holding still for an HOUR!
Ah- the end of Mass. Why didn't I go to practice this week? I'd sound so much better. Then again I wouldn't have had to babysit either. Oh wait, I like babysitting. Nevermind.
Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. I need more sleep. Then again, with mornings like this, who needs sleep?
Hiya Mr. Lewis- breakfast? Breakfast. What is this strange concept. Let me think about it... Yes, let's get breakfast... I like breakfast. Mmmmm... breakfast. I should get breakfast more often. Mmmm... coffee. Blech... restaurant coffe is bad coffee. Bad coffee, bad. You should be good coffee. Good coffee. O_O Food. I likes food. I likes food a lot. I should eat more food. I should remember to eat more food.
AGH! Look at the time! I gotta go! Gabbie's gonna be a pumpkin. Gabbie's gonna be a pumpkin. Nargh.
Wait- I don't have time to take the suburban to the mechanic- fudgemonkeys- you NEED the car this morning. *rushes home- "hi kiddos"- rushes to work- in under a half hour* MADE IT!!!!! YEAH ME!!!
I love my car- iz so smooth to drive... and comfortable... and cute.
Dangit- still in Church clothes. What would happen if I walked in wearing this dress and these shoes? None of the guys would get anything done, that's what. And I don't want to mop up drool. ;) JK.
Must hurry, must hurry, must hurry before boss Jose` sees- fudgemonkeys. Ima comin, Ima comin. Dangit.
I'm HERE! What'd I miss? Oh good, nothing exciting.
Mind sucking loop of trying to sell phones, replace phones, exchange phones.
Good-bye my fair Lotus. I love that phone. It is bittersweet as that was the cutest phone ever.
Oh nice lady who took my favorite Lotus, why are you back? Dangit- why aren't you working evil Lotus?
Oh nice tech support Chad from Oklahoma- Spooner, not Oiler. Wouldn't it make more sense to be an Oklahoma Oiler than an Oklahoma Spooner? Dangit- get. mind. out. of. gutter.
Ahhhh... you asked me how I'm doing today? That's so sweet- none of the tech support people EVER ask me how I'm actually doing.... wait- I'm doing not so hot- it's one of those mornings... and I'm late... for... (wait for it)... EVERYTHING!!! *lies through teeth because you seem nice and I don't want to explain* "I'm doing just fine."
Thank you happy people who are nice to me and don't treat me like crap why I deal with technical problems with the phone that you are attempting to purchase. Why does Blackberry require an evil data plan? And why isn't it showing up as a "DATA" plan? Evil. Evil. Vile. Evil.
Ahhhh break time.
Dear Basil and Dorian, although intriguing characters, and I say this with the most affection I can muster, I think you should ignore Henry. He's a poo face.
Go away, boys.
Ah, work, work, work. Why does my station always end up messy when I'm on break? PUT AWAY YOUR OWN DARN BOXES!!!!! Who stole my stapler?
In my blog, I'm gonna have a great comeback for that snarky thing you said, Jose`. I'm gonna say, "I'm not a kissup- if I were a kissup I'd say you were genuinely handsome and a nice guy and everyone knows THAT'S not true."
Here stapler, stapler, stapler.
Where is that darn stapler?
Ooh- paper clip!
LUNCH!!!!!
Hmmmm... no friends at work today... mind bogglingly boring vending machine donuts that I gave the remaining ones from yesterday to Rebecca this morning. Let's go grab some lunch, get far away from people at work, and then read more about Dorian.
Pfft... what a pansy fop.
Ooh- food! I like food. Food is good.
*Drives back to work* Okay, now food and Dorian. DANGIT! They didn't give me a fork!
*Contemplates driving back to restaurant and screaming*
*Contemplates going to break room after buying set of cutlery*
*Decides it's not worth it and sits in car with yummy smelling food and Dorian*
I'm gonna park under a tree because there will be lots of shade and it will feel good later.
Yum, yum, yum.
Yeahs! Man on the moon is alive!
Work, work, work.
Found my stapler. CONQUERING HERO THEME MUSIC!!!!!
Hello nice man- yes, I'd love to help you find the thing you are looking for that happens to be right behind you. Yes, I'd love to discuss with you for a half hour what it is that your grown son might need in a phone? Yes, the blue one will do nicely... yes, I'm saying that just because I like the color. HELLO grown son. Personal space bubble. Personal space bubble. That's my mantra- and you're wearing it out. Ahhhhh... aspbergers. It all makes sense now. The blue one will do nicely.
Break is great. It's the best part of the day. It's the time I spend away from the counter. It's break, break, break.
Ah Dorian... so young... so naive... so... effeminate. Wilde was a strange man. A very strange man. YEAH BASIL!!!!
Go away, boys.
Ahhhh work. Just one more hour. Then I get to go home. I get to go home. Me and Dorian... maybe we'll invite Basil... but we are so excluding Henry.
Cleaning up- sets off Iphone alarm. Again. Everythings' put away- still forty minutes to go.
Lights go "flashy flashy sputter boom" and all the power in the building is out. Someone screams. A few children start crying. Dangit.
What's that smell? Emergency laps have dust. Dust burns. Creates smokey haze.
I'm fifteen again. And being evacuated. Because the entire mountain range is on fire.
I'm okay. I'm okay. You're okay. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in- bossman give me something to do because I CANNOT do this standing around doing nothing bit anymore.
Ah, taping plastic over all the refrigerators. Fun.
I need tape. I need tape. Just break off a long piece- it will go quicker. Give me a long piece. Come OoOoOn... you're too slow.
That's not what I meant.
Want some tape, guys. I've got it all over me now.
Dangit- I'm supposed to be off. MANAGER!!!! I wanna go home.
Ah that was relatively simple. Do I go home or do I go to a bar? Still freaked out. People are driving crazy- I'm going home.
Why did I park under a tree? I have bird dung on my car now.
I like Benny's coloring.
*half way home* NOOOOO!!!! I left Dorian at work.
Home... home at last... home where people love me.
SHHHHH!
Okay I'm being quiet.
O_O chocolate ice cream is a good substitute for dinner, right? And it's not even booze.
There is room for personal growth.
Okay, ya know, this would be a good time to write a blog.
G'night lovely people.
nnnnn... where does all the time in the day go? I should sleep more.
I wanna watch a Christmas movie... in September... it's not too early, right?
6.45 am
unnnnhhh... it's still dark out... why am I awake? Oh yeah... Church... and choir... and zzzzz....
6.50 am
dangit. I must get up. I must get dressed. Why didn't I get up earlier? *rush rush rush*
Must get in shower- HELLO IRA! What are you doing... on the floor?... outside my door?... completely asleep? Ah forget it, must get shower so I don't smell like Walmart!
Mmmmm... toothpaste... I love the smell of "not morning breath".
Ah, yeahs, Ira is not asleep there anymore. *rush rush rush*
Why am I always so late Lord? Must get out the door and switch cars and move cars and- HELLO IRA! What are you doing at the top of the stairs? Playing with the cat? Why are you awake, child?
*rush rush rush*
I don't like this car- it's too big. Never volunteering to take anything to the shop EVER again.
*rush rush rush*
Applies makeup in a hurry as I scurry into Church- ten minutes late for choir. Why do I always hit EVERY red light when I'm running late? SORRY GOD!!!!!
Opens door- ah music- crap, every one's staring at me. Good morning, people. Take no notice of the Gabbie lady who isn't really late because it's really all the red lights fault.
We're singing what?
MASS MASS MASS! I love Mass. Why don't I go to Mass more often? Oh yeah, because I like smalls too. And work- no, I don't. I hate work, but that's besides the point. I love my dress. I like wearing dresses..... and tall shoes. I like tall shoes. I don't feel so dang short without them.
MASS!!!
Why is it that Catholics always choose the songs that sound like lullabies for the earliest Mass possible on Sundays? As if I wasn't having ENOUGH trouble staying awake- now the entire choir is singing a song that sounds remarkably like something my Mother used to sing me to sleep with. NARGH!!!!! WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WAKE UP! Must. Get. Coffee.
Ah Jesus, there You are. I was wondering where you had gotten too. I love You, Lord. I've missed you. Why can't I spend all my time here? Because I have enough trouble holding still for an HOUR!
Ah- the end of Mass. Why didn't I go to practice this week? I'd sound so much better. Then again I wouldn't have had to babysit either. Oh wait, I like babysitting. Nevermind.
Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. I need more sleep. Then again, with mornings like this, who needs sleep?
Hiya Mr. Lewis- breakfast? Breakfast. What is this strange concept. Let me think about it... Yes, let's get breakfast... I like breakfast. Mmmmm... breakfast. I should get breakfast more often. Mmmm... coffee. Blech... restaurant coffe is bad coffee. Bad coffee, bad. You should be good coffee. Good coffee. O_O Food. I likes food. I likes food a lot. I should eat more food. I should remember to eat more food.
AGH! Look at the time! I gotta go! Gabbie's gonna be a pumpkin. Gabbie's gonna be a pumpkin. Nargh.
Wait- I don't have time to take the suburban to the mechanic- fudgemonkeys- you NEED the car this morning. *rushes home- "hi kiddos"- rushes to work- in under a half hour* MADE IT!!!!! YEAH ME!!!
I love my car- iz so smooth to drive... and comfortable... and cute.
Dangit- still in Church clothes. What would happen if I walked in wearing this dress and these shoes? None of the guys would get anything done, that's what. And I don't want to mop up drool. ;) JK.
Must hurry, must hurry, must hurry before boss Jose` sees- fudgemonkeys. Ima comin, Ima comin. Dangit.
I'm HERE! What'd I miss? Oh good, nothing exciting.
Mind sucking loop of trying to sell phones, replace phones, exchange phones.
Good-bye my fair Lotus. I love that phone. It is bittersweet as that was the cutest phone ever.
Oh nice lady who took my favorite Lotus, why are you back? Dangit- why aren't you working evil Lotus?
Oh nice tech support Chad from Oklahoma- Spooner, not Oiler. Wouldn't it make more sense to be an Oklahoma Oiler than an Oklahoma Spooner? Dangit- get. mind. out. of. gutter.
Ahhhh... you asked me how I'm doing today? That's so sweet- none of the tech support people EVER ask me how I'm actually doing.... wait- I'm doing not so hot- it's one of those mornings... and I'm late... for... (wait for it)... EVERYTHING!!! *lies through teeth because you seem nice and I don't want to explain* "I'm doing just fine."
Thank you happy people who are nice to me and don't treat me like crap why I deal with technical problems with the phone that you are attempting to purchase. Why does Blackberry require an evil data plan? And why isn't it showing up as a "DATA" plan? Evil. Evil. Vile. Evil.
Ahhhh break time.
Dear Basil and Dorian, although intriguing characters, and I say this with the most affection I can muster, I think you should ignore Henry. He's a poo face.
Go away, boys.
Ah, work, work, work. Why does my station always end up messy when I'm on break? PUT AWAY YOUR OWN DARN BOXES!!!!! Who stole my stapler?
In my blog, I'm gonna have a great comeback for that snarky thing you said, Jose`. I'm gonna say, "I'm not a kissup- if I were a kissup I'd say you were genuinely handsome and a nice guy and everyone knows THAT'S not true."
Here stapler, stapler, stapler.
Where is that darn stapler?
Ooh- paper clip!
LUNCH!!!!!
Hmmmm... no friends at work today... mind bogglingly boring vending machine donuts that I gave the remaining ones from yesterday to Rebecca this morning. Let's go grab some lunch, get far away from people at work, and then read more about Dorian.
Pfft... what a pansy fop.
Ooh- food! I like food. Food is good.
*Drives back to work* Okay, now food and Dorian. DANGIT! They didn't give me a fork!
*Contemplates driving back to restaurant and screaming*
*Contemplates going to break room after buying set of cutlery*
*Decides it's not worth it and sits in car with yummy smelling food and Dorian*
I'm gonna park under a tree because there will be lots of shade and it will feel good later.
Yum, yum, yum.
Yeahs! Man on the moon is alive!
Work, work, work.
Found my stapler. CONQUERING HERO THEME MUSIC!!!!!
Hello nice man- yes, I'd love to help you find the thing you are looking for that happens to be right behind you. Yes, I'd love to discuss with you for a half hour what it is that your grown son might need in a phone? Yes, the blue one will do nicely... yes, I'm saying that just because I like the color. HELLO grown son. Personal space bubble. Personal space bubble. That's my mantra- and you're wearing it out. Ahhhhh... aspbergers. It all makes sense now. The blue one will do nicely.
Break is great. It's the best part of the day. It's the time I spend away from the counter. It's break, break, break.
Ah Dorian... so young... so naive... so... effeminate. Wilde was a strange man. A very strange man. YEAH BASIL!!!!
Go away, boys.
Ahhhh work. Just one more hour. Then I get to go home. I get to go home. Me and Dorian... maybe we'll invite Basil... but we are so excluding Henry.
Cleaning up- sets off Iphone alarm. Again. Everythings' put away- still forty minutes to go.
Lights go "flashy flashy sputter boom" and all the power in the building is out. Someone screams. A few children start crying. Dangit.
What's that smell? Emergency laps have dust. Dust burns. Creates smokey haze.
I'm fifteen again. And being evacuated. Because the entire mountain range is on fire.
I'm okay. I'm okay. You're okay. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in- bossman give me something to do because I CANNOT do this standing around doing nothing bit anymore.
Ah, taping plastic over all the refrigerators. Fun.
I need tape. I need tape. Just break off a long piece- it will go quicker. Give me a long piece. Come OoOoOn... you're too slow.
That's not what I meant.
Want some tape, guys. I've got it all over me now.
Dangit- I'm supposed to be off. MANAGER!!!! I wanna go home.
Ah that was relatively simple. Do I go home or do I go to a bar? Still freaked out. People are driving crazy- I'm going home.
Why did I park under a tree? I have bird dung on my car now.
I like Benny's coloring.
*half way home* NOOOOO!!!! I left Dorian at work.
Home... home at last... home where people love me.
SHHHHH!
Okay I'm being quiet.
O_O chocolate ice cream is a good substitute for dinner, right? And it's not even booze.
There is room for personal growth.
Okay, ya know, this would be a good time to write a blog.
G'night lovely people.
nnnnn... where does all the time in the day go? I should sleep more.
I wanna watch a Christmas movie... in September... it's not too early, right?
Saturday, September 11, 2010
In the interest of entertaining my curiosity...
how many people actually read this blog? I'm just wondering so that I can find out my target audience (i.e. I might rephrain from posting certain things if I find out my Mother, Grandmother, or Godmother reads this blog, etc.) So if you are reading this, and you care to share, please drop me a line so that I am aware of who actually takes the time to find out what I am doing these days.
Friday, August 20, 2010
Funny things said that are hilarious out of context and even more so within context
"They can eat whatever they want as long as it is grapes."
"We're waiting on Jonathan's pants... they're upstairs."
"Stop oggling other peoples babies."
"Could you please check on Joel for me.... I think I scared him."
"What does that mean?" "It means I get to call the *frumpgrumblegrumblegrrrrr* phone company."
"Well at least I'm not the only one who's computer isn't working today!!!!"
"I meant to give you my number earlier but my phone went on sabatical."
"You can't choose that movie- it starts Ben Affleck, therefore it will have no story line. I mean he's cute but how far will that get cha?"
"You need more excitement in your mornings- I recomend goldfish... doing an impression of a killer whale."
And now for CONTEXT...
Susan to her kids about her other kids...
Mary while waiting for Jonathan who couldn't find his pants and was running around the house... while wearing other pants
Me to Susan who was getting all sappy about a particularly cute baby and being unproductive because of it... totally calling the kettle black here
My MOTHER who barely knows my friend Joel... from school... and he's not even in the same time zone as EITHER of us right now.
One of the nice, well meaning customers I talked with today. The second part was by me... apparently I'm funny when things stop working.
My coworker after Sprint's computers were not working either (after our computer wouldn't work either), thus causing a contract that normally takes 6-15 minutes to take an hour.
Me to a friend... context not so funny on this one
One of my customers... who was 6'9"... I asked... to his thirteen-year-old son who was easily eight inches taller than me.
Trying to convince one of my friends that he shouldn't sleep in till noon.
Stay tuned for more random quotes in the life of Gabbie
"We're waiting on Jonathan's pants... they're upstairs."
"Stop oggling other peoples babies."
"Could you please check on Joel for me.... I think I scared him."
"What does that mean?" "It means I get to call the *frumpgrumblegrumblegrrrrr* phone company."
"Well at least I'm not the only one who's computer isn't working today!!!!"
"I meant to give you my number earlier but my phone went on sabatical."
"You can't choose that movie- it starts Ben Affleck, therefore it will have no story line. I mean he's cute but how far will that get cha?"
"You need more excitement in your mornings- I recomend goldfish... doing an impression of a killer whale."
And now for CONTEXT...
Susan to her kids about her other kids...
Mary while waiting for Jonathan who couldn't find his pants and was running around the house... while wearing other pants
Me to Susan who was getting all sappy about a particularly cute baby and being unproductive because of it... totally calling the kettle black here
My MOTHER who barely knows my friend Joel... from school... and he's not even in the same time zone as EITHER of us right now.
One of the nice, well meaning customers I talked with today. The second part was by me... apparently I'm funny when things stop working.
My coworker after Sprint's computers were not working either (after our computer wouldn't work either), thus causing a contract that normally takes 6-15 minutes to take an hour.
Me to a friend... context not so funny on this one
One of my customers... who was 6'9"... I asked... to his thirteen-year-old son who was easily eight inches taller than me.
Trying to convince one of my friends that he shouldn't sleep in till noon.
Stay tuned for more random quotes in the life of Gabbie
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Things I did not expect that I would need to learn, and other excerpts from my journal
Once upon a time I thought I knew stuff. Please note, that time is not now. As with all fairy tales, reality eventually sets in and you realize that a place where three bears live is not where it would be pleasant to nap, prince or no prince, you shouldn't lose a shoe no matter how late you are, presents from strangers are not good, and that they probably recycled Michael Jackson. It has long been the case that I have not said everything that popped into my head- largely because people find my running commentary tedious and in part due to the fact that no one would ever be able to start laughing. Perhaps this is a bit vain for me to say but it is generally true. At one point in my life I thought I should write a blog with the running commentary of random thoughts that pop into my head in the course of a day. This is the second installment of wisdom from my journal and is dedicated to all those things that I never expected I would have to learn in my adult life.
Things you write in your journal may be erased but are never forgotten.
Dreaming is for sleeping.
"Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved." -Shakespeare
Part of being mature is realizing that you don't always have to be.
You should not create standards so strict that no one can live up to them, especially yourself.
Never lie to a child because they never forget it.
"It is nothing to die. It is frightful not to live." -Jean Valjean, Les Miserables
Attempting to not be silly usually makes you more so.
Never do anything out of anger.
Don't live the present for the future or the past.
If you cannot laugh at a stressful situation, someone else will find it hilarious.
Good-byes are not forever.
The only one who takes joy in human sorrow is he who is never joyful
"Human beings, not human doings." If that makes sense no explanation is necessary, and if it doesn't, no explanation is possible.
Things you write in your journal may be erased but are never forgotten.
Dreaming is for sleeping.
"Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved." -Shakespeare
Part of being mature is realizing that you don't always have to be.
You should not create standards so strict that no one can live up to them, especially yourself.
Never lie to a child because they never forget it.
"It is nothing to die. It is frightful not to live." -Jean Valjean, Les Miserables
Attempting to not be silly usually makes you more so.
Never do anything out of anger.
Don't live the present for the future or the past.
If you cannot laugh at a stressful situation, someone else will find it hilarious.
Good-byes are not forever.
The only one who takes joy in human sorrow is he who is never joyful
"Human beings, not human doings." If that makes sense no explanation is necessary, and if it doesn't, no explanation is possible.
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