The Eyes of God

Outside my window at work, for the last hour and a half, is a white dove. For the most part he's been ignoring me and I've been content to ignore him. Then, in the last ten minutes, he won't stop looking at me and I find it most disconcerting. Why do I suddenly feel like God has His eyes on me?

Rules to Happiness #134

Warm, fuzzy sweaters that smell like my grandfather always improves my day, even in the summer.

Rules to Happiness #133

No matter what Barney says, the magic words are not "please" and "thank you" but rather are "no" and "never again".

Rules to Happiness #135

Spelling isn't everything.

All Creatures Great and Small

A week and a half ago I was driving from my Cowboy Parish to my favorite grocery store, taking the backgrounds that aren't quite the end of civilization (but you can see it from there) and blaring the radio loudly. I was coming from a morning service with the "cowboys" and was about as happy as I could be after getting out of a morning Church service.  I was quite the happiest Gabbie that there ever was. And then I looked over and saw someone riding shotgun.

 

I am not afraid of creatures. In fact, I am quite fond of bugs, lizards, snakes, frogs, etc. Basically anything that crawls I enjoy. I tell you this because I want you to understand my reaction when I say that when I saw this spider riding shotgun with a full blown circle web (that had not been there before Church) and I shrieked, it was not a little thing.

 

I fairly drove off the road, pulling over in a hay field and hopping out of the car, grateful that I was wearing boots, and racing over to the other side where I furiously destroyed the web with my bulletin and shooed that magnificent spider out of my car.  The spider was easily the size of a golf ball including legs and moved about as fast as one. In a moment he was gone (and still among the living) and I was... on edge.

 

Half a week later, my friend, Lauren-my-Lauren was riding along with me and out crawled another spider (who bore a striking resemblance to my other spider). I was (once again) driving and I shrieked. Lauren-my-Lauren looked from my eyes to the spider (who was practically in her lap), lifted her booted foot, and stomped on his brains until they gushed out the sides. I like her.

 

Then, this morning, I was parked and I realized there was a not small cricket hopping around on my dashboard. I pulled over to the side to let him out and when he was gone I continued on. Then I felt something in my hair and realized he had just been hiding and I fairly lost it while driving again. I swear, I don't have a messy car, but I do have a bad habit of leaving my car doors open far longer than necessary. Either which way, I think I'm going to vacuum my car when I get home, and make sure no more creatures crawl out of the woodwork.

Rules to Happiness #132

Mantra of the Day:
             Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, help me not to make stupid decision today.

My Neo Crede

I am Catholic.

 

I believe there is a heaven. I believe there is a hell. I believe there is a purgatory. I believe that heaven is a party and is not here on earth. I think that purgatory is standing room only and resembles a Doctor's Waiting Room- i.e. we're gonna be waiting half of forever but there is hope at the end of the tunnel. I dearly hope and pray that hell is empty.

 

I believe in the Sacraments. I believe in the succession of Peter and therefore the ordination of priests and the reason for the Pope. I believe that we've got it right even if the rest of the world paints us to be anti-Semitic, misogynistic, pedophiles. I am not and I don't know any Catholics that are. I believe the Church has made many mistakes but that Christ has promised us that the gates of hell would never prevail.  This means that no matter how we screw up, the Devil won't win, and He won't abandon us.

 

I believe in Holy Orders. I don't think of nuns as female priests. I believe that only a man can be a priest. This doesn't mean I hate women or that I'm anti-feminist. I believe that Christ laid out the role of the priest for men and I haven't questioned it since. I believe that women have important roles too. I don't think it is a woman's job to only be a mother or a homemaker or take care of men. This is not an insult to women just as it is not an insult to men. No, I haven't been brainwashed.

 

As a good Catholic I don't hate the Muslims, the Protestants, the Jews, or the Atheists. Along the same lines I don't hate gays, lesbians, blacks, Asians, Indians, people who refuse to learn English, people who refuse to learn anything, anyone who disagrees with me on any or all of these topics, and/or any other social or cultural group. I don't hold a deep seated hate because I come from a religion that professes love.  Moreover, I have better things to do with my time than hate anyone, and really, you should too. I love all people.

 

I don't think animals are humans. I love them but they are still not human.

I believe all life is sacred and should be protected. This does not mean that I am vegan but it does mean that I have and will continue to pray for the sanctity of life.

 

I believe that forgiveness and love are vital parts of being a Christian... and human.

 

I believe that being Catholic does not mean that you aren't a Christian. I believe that you don't have to be Catholic and/or Christian to be saved.

I believe in the seven  cardinal virtues and their opposing deadly sins. I believe that love can be enough to save someone if they love themselves too. I believe that an individual can change the world but that the world has to be open to change.

 

I believe that all people were created equal but to whom much has been given much more will be expected.

 

I believe that Christ may have been handed over to Pontius Pilot and the Roman Empire by the Jews but He died for MY SINS. I believe that Christ died for MY GREAT MANY SINS, because of my sins, and through HIM, I have been SAVED.

Rules to Happiness #131

If you are worried about something, the more time you talk to other people, the less time you talk to God.

Rules to Happiness #130

Some times the nicest thing you can do for a person is to tell them, "Aint no way this is ever gonna happen."

Rules to Happiness #129

Failure to plan on your part does not create an emergency on mine.

Rules to Happiness #128

A single person cannot save everyone.

Rules to Happiness #127

It is our duty to help others- not enable them.

Rules to Happiness #126

Gossip is unchristian. So is emotional manipulation.

Rules to Happiness #125

It is okay to admit you made a mistakes... but you still have to deal with the circumstance.

Rules to Happiness #124

Compliance is not agreement.

Rules to Happiness #123

Charity is good. Enabling is not.

Humbling Moments of my Life #1

I got the hiccups. Really bad hiccups. Three seconds apart hiccups. I got them while I was leaving a message. A message for a Doctor's office. A message for a Doctor's office from a Law Firm. *facepalm*

Rules to Happines #122

Cookies: good for the heart, good for the soul... terrible for the waistline.

Rules to Happines #121

Rain washes away everything... given time.

Rules to Happiness #120

No matter how good your day is, it only takes one thing to turn it around.

Rules to Happiness #119

No matter how bad your day, it only takes one thing to turn it around.

(In Parenthesis)

Last night I was exhausted. I won't lie. I got up at 5.30am in order to feed and water the cats, clean their kitty litter, and clean whatever mess they decided to make the previous night. Then (as a second thought) I made myself coffee, made myself lunch, and dashed out the door by 6.00am in order to run by one of the rental properties and take in the trashcans before someone reported them again. Following that I went to my day job where I stayed for nine hours and ten minutes, having (gratefully) arrived ten minutes early with enough time to apply my makeup.

After that I raced back to the rental house (in a record twenty minutes) to meet the repairman and his second in command (think Duck Dynasty), Locksmith (again) (late) (again), and cleaning lady (also late) (also again). Then while I waited between appointments (lots of tardiness) I started going through the insurmountable task of sorting through the trash, the donatable, and the "oh, I wish I had mind bleach!" Then my bff called me back. Read as "She and I talked while being interrupted by repairmen on my end and toddlers on her end." Some days I wish Virginia was a lot closer to Austin. Finally we gave up and called in a rain check.

Following that I got back to work entertaining myself by picking up all the lost coins scattered through the house (I filled two coffee cups- also left behind). I felt like I was walking around in Mario Kart and someone had let a shell loose. Then my cleaning lady showed up and asked me what I wanted clean (I resisted the urge to say "MY LIFE!) Then a friend came to help me sort followed by the second trip of the nutty Locksmith (seriously, the man looks Doc from Back to the Future and has a similar disposition.)

Finally we all finished up (or quit) for the day and I went home, ready to get a bite to eat, take a shower, and go to bed.  I was watching an episode to help me slow my mind when my very noisy phone went off.

"Hello?" I said into the received, barely registering the caller ID as I did.

"Hello, Gabbie", said the little voice of my youngest goddaughter.

"Hey, Baby," I replied in my most sympathetic voice, "How're you?"

"I'm fine," Napoleon said (sounding close to tears.)

"You don't sound fine," I responded.

"I'm just a little homesick", she said (then came the tears.)

"I miss you too," I whispered back. Twenty minutes (and a Prince Eric Dragon story) later we got off the phone. (And I felt better.)

All by Myself

A funny thing happened this morning. I was having a bad morning (my alarm went off at 5.30 even though I didn't have to get up until 6.30 (don't ask) and then I had to deal with an attention deprived George. All by myself.  

I spent twenty minutes try to track down a key to help out a friend at my Parish and then another half hour waiting for the key to show up so that everything that needed to be done could be done. All by myself.  I reformatted a few documents and generally tidied while I waited and thought I might pop into the chapel for morning Mass... and then I remembered that there would be incense left over from last night, a halting reminder as to why I was so groggy this morning and angry with God for keeping me out of Adoration with a group of friends that I had been looking forward to all month. I was shut out from the Chapel- just me, all by myself.

I wrote written in my notebook, "I feel like You're trying to push me away with incense but I know that can't be right; why are You testing me?"

So I went to the grocery store and got an oil change and an inspection- by myself. Then I got a call from one of the repairman I've been in contact with for the past week, canceling my early appointment that I had deliberately gotten started so early in the morning so I wouldn't miss it. I won't lie- I was annoyed.  

I misplaced my keys in my pockets and while searching for them I found a rosary. A rosary that my friend Mari had brought back from the Cathedral of Our Lady of Guadalupe in Mexico City, a place that my grandmother dearly loved. I had forgotten that I had that rosary... even more I had forgotten where I had left it.  As the rosary emerged from my pocket I heard a familiar voice say, "I'm still here." I never have to question who those words come from because the overwhelming feeling of love that entrances and protects me. I hear His voice and I know that I'm not alone and that although I am overwhelmed and overrun and that I cannot keep doing this on my own, together, we'll get it all done, and from now on, even though I'll forget it, I haven't been all by myself since He promised to never leave me alone.

Maybe it's not such a bad thing to be all by myself if I'm all by myself with Him?

Because sometimes you need to be reminded...

"I have loved you," says the LORD. "But you ask, 'How have you loved us?'

Malachi 1:2a

Rules to Happiness #118

Make time for God.

Rules to Happiness #117

God's love story is written all around you. Be aware of your surroundings.

Rules to Happiness #116

Sleep is a necessary evil.

Rules to Happiness #115

Forgiveness is a natural blessing that comes with time.

Rules to Happiness #114

Sometimes being an adult means staying home and resting.

Rules to Happiness #113

Growth comes from suffering and only through suffering.

Rules to Happines #112

At some point, every person needs to be speak and be heard.

Rules to Happiness #111

Brag about your hair and it will surely turn frizzy.
Humility is good for the soul.

To Those Who Don't Vote: Rant Warning

If you say, "I didn't vote for him" but you didn't bother to vote, you're passing the blame on to those who honored their civic duty and cared enough about how an election turns out enough to show up and participate.

 

If you only put your opinion out there loudly on Facebook, Twitter, or other public forums, but fail to back it up by supporting the opinions in other places through tax laws or bonds, you're just passing the responsibility. 

 

If you won't donate to organizations that support causes you support, you are just the loud rabble.  Voting is free of cost.

 

In short, if you aren't willing to put any effort to supporting a cause or a person except vocally when there is no opposition, you are a coward and you are an idiot.

Rules to Happines #110

Good conquers evil. Maybe not at first but eventually. Always.

Rules to Happines #109

People feel it necessary to share their feelings. If you're having a bad
day, please, don't share.

Rules to Happines #108

"Without sacrifice there is no love."

-He And I, Gabrielle Bossis

Rules to Happiness #107

You can't pay someone to care.

Shampoo Girl

"How do you get hair this awesome!?! You don't brush it!  You don't wash it! You don't do anything but sleep on it!"

 

One of my friends recently ranted at me about my hair. I feel bad because I find it so funny.  I will be the first to admit that my hair is pretty awesome in it's current state of long, dark, curls that get auburn streaks when I stand in the sun. Add in that I have been blessed with my Father's thick Mexican hair that hides imperfections and never grows faster than it really should, and I could be donating to Locks of Love well into my fifties.*  I love my hair... now.

 

Up until I was a Junior in college, I had ridiculously frizzy hair. It used to hover around waist length and be trimmed every five weeks on the dot. I'd comb, brush, shampoo, condition, primp, braid, and let loose and it never ceased to make me look like Cousin It or Tangela from Pokémon. Trust me, it wasn't pretty. 

Nonetheless, I made one of my very best friends in Elementary school because of my hair.  Every day Mimi would run up to me and ask me what shampoo I used. I couldn't fathom why she wanted to know, nor could I recall (or care) what kind of shampoo I used.  My lack of a response caused many of the older girls to chase me around calling me "Shampoo Girl".  I wasn't amused. Soon most of the playground knew me that name and I would usually go home crying.  Finally my Mother advised that I should tell them that my hair had nothing to do with my shampoo.  I still didn't understand.  But, I went back to school and repeated my Mother's words and then Mimi asked me a question I may never forget: "Then how do you have such long hair?"

I looked at her blankly. 

"Because I don't cut it," I eventually replied. 

Eventually Mimi and I became friends (after "Shampoo Girl" lost it's charm) but not before I acquired another nickname. As some of you may recall, my first name has a variation of "Anne" in it. Since my Mother had me wear my hair in two braids everyday (EVERY SINGLE DAY FROM 1ST GRADE THROUGH 6TH!!!!) one of the Elementary School teachers said that I looked like a doll... like a rag doll... like a Raggedy Annie. I may never forgive her for that one. 

Then I went through Junior High, High School, and most of College with my continued frizzy hair.  What made it worse was that I moved to Florida for college and my hair went... scary. Some days I'd wake up and look like Frankenstein's bride. And I still got teased about my hair, albeit not as much as when I was young.

And then I did something stupid.  Really stupid.  Even for my standards.  I used a temporary dye to turn my hair a beautiful auburn.  Instead it came out a lovely shade of burgundy.  I was unimpressed, but it was supposed to be temporary.  My roommate dyed her hair periwinkle at the same time.  Her color came out three days later.  My color didn't. In a fit of desperation (right before returning home) I decided to cut most of it off, praying that my parents wouldn't notice the color.  (It occurred to me afterwards that my Mother would just be grateful that it wasn't green.  Oh, and my Father is colorblind).  Of course I made this decision between the hours of 2am and 5am while writing a rather long history paper on the defining themes of the American Revolution that were unique to our history.  And then I made a mistake.  Not on the paper- on my hair.  So I had to fix it.  Then I made another mistake.  So I had to fix it again.  Pretty soon my long, waist length hair was barely covering my ears. 

I was convinced I was going to have to endure months of ridicule while it grew back and tearfully look at myself in the mirror while bemoaning my reckless decision.  And then something wonderful happened.  My frizzy hair curled. Not just sort of curled but ringlets.  And it was pretty, and it was effortless, and all I had to do was get it wet and it would form these gorgeous, Shirley Temple curls!  I had died and gone to heaven.

And when my family saw it, well- My Father said he was so glad to see me he wouldn't talk about my hair until we got home.  My Mother sat and looked at me in shock for several days, unsure how I had managed to get a perm in Florida.  And my grandmother said as soon as she saw me, "You mean you could have had curly hair this whole time!?!"

Well that was six years ago and although I've gotten better at styling it and keeping the curls between wettings, I haven't really done much more to it now than I had time to do in college.  But you want to know the secret to how I have such awesome hair now? Well it's not because of my shampoo.

 

*(For the record, I have donated to Locks of Love twice. Please don't tell me that I should donate my hair like it's an original idea that I never would have thought of on my own. I like my hair long and I really don't enjoy arguing with strangers over the fact that because I have something good I should give it away.)

Rules to Happiness #106

Moments of perfect silence can only be ruined by a loud cellphone.

Rules to Happiness #105

Silence is golden.

I Was There

Last night a friend of mine convinced me to go to the daily rosary for the 2014 Fortnight for Freedom. While I was sitting there I started to get this poem stuck in my head. It's unrefined and unfinished, but I'd be interested in your thoughts.

          I was there when the beach was taken
          I was there when the towers fell
          I was there at the founding of a new nation
          I was there in the battle of Passchendaele
 
          I was there at the sign for peace
          I was there with those left behind
          I was there for those who were left to linger
          I was there because they too were mine
 
          I was there in the first desperate cry
          Of those faced with loss
          I was there to pay with my blood
          For the unprecedented loss
 
          I was there with them in Eden
          I was there on Mount Sinai
          I was there waiting for the Holy Land
          I was there with them waiting to fight

          I was there at the Nativity
          I was there at every joyful birth
          I was there singing with the Angels
          I was there because love had come to Earth

          I was there at your first love
          I was there when you sore you'd never be apart
          I was there when you pledged yourself to Me
          I was there when he broke your heart

          I was there when you never thought you'd find peace
          I was there when you were sure you'd never love
          I was there when you rediscovered Me
          I was there watching from above

          I was there when you learned forgiveness
          I was there when you learned it again
          I was there leading you by the hand
          I was there to lead you back again

          I was there with the first joyful laughter
          I was there with the first sacrifice
          I was there at the altar
          I was there to pay the price

          I was there in every suffering
          I was there in every joy
          I was there with every woman
          With every man, girl, and boy
 
          I was there at the great creation
          Beginning and the end
          I was there with the first joyful laughter
          I was there with the first true friend

          I was there- I am there- I will be there
          And I always be there
          For I have always been yours
          And you have always been mine

Rules to Happiness #104

There's a difference between letting go and moving on.