An early Epiphany letter

I wanted to write a Christmas card but that's not going to happen for  2016, so this is the next best that we can do.

2016 was a good year for us. It was the year of the weddings and big life changes for us, beginning with our own when we were married in January. We went to Louisiana and Fredericksberg and drank more wine than was strictly necessary. We also traveled to California for one cousin's wedding and were praying from afar for another cousin and uncle during their weddings. Daniel was able to attend the ordination of several of his seminarian buddies to the priesthood. We attended another friends wedding in Jarrell, Texas and we also traveled to Dallas for Thanksgiving with many of the Chapa family relatives.

In March Daniel got a promotion with a raise. He's an invaluable member of his team and he loves his job.

In August we retired my first car, Bennie. It was his time and we realized we could survive happily with one vehicle. Additionally, we spent much of early 2016 improving our house, fixing little things, and generally enjoying marital bliss, but more big changes were in store when...

We got our first family pet in July; a red eared slider turtle named "Bash" who provides endless hours of entertainment by tap dancing on the window of his aquarium. Daniel named him after a shell coding language. Bash spends his spare time chasing fish or chasing imaginary fish through his aquarium and then smugly grinning when he's caught them or shrieking in terror and hiding when I come too close to his aquarium. I don't think he'll ever forgive me for picking him up to clean his tank, but the one person who annoys him more than me is...

Molly, a seven-year-old rescue lab we took home in September. She doesn't bark much unless there is a problem (more about that later) and as a friend once described, she makes a very endearing congested elephant noise when she's excited. We had only heard her bark once until one day....

In early November, on the first cold, rainy day of the year, we had a house fire. It lasted maybe a half hour before a neighbor saw the smoke (or heard the formerly mute dog barking) and called for help. Hutto FD arrived very shortly after and around 10 AM we were notified when they called the numbers on Molly's collar. All we knew for sure was there had been a fire, they found the dog but they wouldn't comment on her state of living, they hadn't found the turtle, and we needed to come home as soon as possible.  This proved difficult with one car so I stayed at work and...

Daniel's first view of the scene was the fire department putting out the last of the flames. They had broken down front and back doors and wouldn't allow anyone in, but even from outside the damage was not small. Two neighbors held Molly and gave her food and water and wiped the worst of the debris off of her but it took them a while to find Bash. When they did, Bash was covered in ash and was pulled so far into his shell that we feared he may never come out. He was deposited in the now empty, borrowed dog water bowl which did not improve his mood but I still couldn't get back until...

One of my office lawyers drove me back to the house, armed with several business cards for restoration teams provided by some of the other adjusters in the office. I arrived after most of the excitement was over but I didn't stay to survey the damage. With the help of a close family friend, I took both creatures to three different vets before we found one who would look at both of them and give an assessment of their health. Both received baths (only one was happy about it) and were given a clean bill of health so long as they didn't exhibit any other concerning symptoms, which they didn't. Bash returned to his usual ornery self and tried his best to escape from the dog bowl. Molly wouldn't stop barking. I returned to the house and saw that despite the extensive damage, we were still very lucky. The fire was limited to one room but smoke and water damage affected every room in house. Nothing in the room with the fire survived except for Molly and Bash. By the end of the day we had hired a deconstruction / restoration team to begin work ASAP with one goal, to be back in the house by the time that...

Our baby, Balthazar Bauer got a window seat. He's due on Star Wars day 2017. Yes, he's a boy. No, we're not going to name him Balthazar. (For those who are worried, I got checked out after the fire). Being pregnant makes me a liability to the restoration team so I haven't been allowed in the house since the fire. Add in that I'm an insurance adjuster and I'm every insurance company's worst nightmare. We didn't have much after that day, but fortunately...

We stayed with relatives for a few weeks while we got temporary housing figured out and we moved into our rental on December first. As you might imagine, we didn't have much... but we were all alive so it's hard to be too upset. Several family and friends stepped up to loan us things the relocation company didn't provide. We hired a contractor to restore the house and tried to make do with hastily preparing Christmas. I don't think I've ever identified with the Holy Family more than this year. I think we had a very small idea what it felt like to be displaced and travelling with very little. It helped to separate us from the worldly part of Christmas to really focus the Christ child. Everything was beginning to look a lot better until...

I went into anaphylactic shock at a Christmas party. I've known I was allergic to doTERRA essential oils for years but I've always had more time to react to having an allergic reaction... Usually fifteen minutes or so; this time I had thirty seconds. Balthazar and I are fine... Daniel's a little scared but he has every right to be. Molly has glued herself to my leg and has become even more protective of us. That being said, we are still looking forward to...

2017. There are more changes to come, and I pray, that we'll be back in our house before Balthazar comes.

Conversations in my Sleep

This is as accurate a recollection of a conversation I had with my better half, while I was completely asleep last night.


*He comes into the bedroom.*
Me- "Can you plug in my phone."
Him- "Yes, dear, give me a minute."
*A few minutes later he picks up my phone and his phone.*
Me- "Did you plug in my phone?"
Him- "Doing it right now, dear."
*A few minutes later he climbs into bed.*
Him- "I love you."
Me- "I love you, too. Did you plug in my phone?"
Him- "Yes, dear."


And I don't remember any of it.

Rule #219

We are so very blessed.

Rule #218

Everything that doesn't matter can burn, but what's left is what really matters and what's really important.

Rules #217

Going out of your way to help someone, even when they are being horrible to you, is an act of charity and love.

Rules #216

A short phone call with someone who "gets you" is liable to cure just about anything.

I'm not an expert

I am not a therapist.  Nor am I a parent.  I am especially not a parent of adopted children. However, in my current employment I came across an instance where a child is acting out repeatedly, and injuring numerous people in the process, and no one seems to understand why.  The common factor that I've heard from every source is that this child is the case of a recent adoption and every time he runs away, or hits someone, or acts out, he always says, "I want to call my mom." This isn't just a natural case of misbehavior.  This is a child who is crying for help because he's afraid she won't come back for him. This may seem an unreasonable fear, but consider that in the best case scenario, he's already lost everything once. I really want to send this parent a copy of "How to listen so children will talk" by Mr. Rogers and "Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control" by B. Bryan Post and Heather T. Forbes, but due to professional boundaries, I can't. I can't point out that this kid is acting VERY normally considering the circumstances, and that he legitimately has some very pressing concerns. I can't tell her all this, or his teacher, or his principal. I can't do anything. So I'm repeating what I know to the interwebs, praying that somehow the caretakers of this child will find this. And hoping that if the general public is educated on this some more, it will find it's way back to the children who need this.

Again, I'm not an expert. I'm not a parent. I'm not a teacher. And I'm not in this situation. But I've seen it happen. Again and again. My mother always says you can't save the world and she's right, but if I can pass this on to one person I'm doing my part.

That's it, we're moving to Australia

Yesterday was a horrible, ugly, no good, terrible day. I now want to move to Australia. However, this morning began with a quiet house, husband at grocery store, and a clean bedroom. And coffee. Before I left the house. Today is going to be much better than yesterday, I can tell already. Maybe we won't be moving Australia.

Let it go

When you are really, truly, angry with someone, is it really such a bad thing if you tell them.  The caveat is that whether they are truly apologetic or imply that this is really your fault for expecting too much, you must let it go. This is something that I feel is a lesson that God keeps teaching me. Over and over again. I won't go into the specifics as the what but I'm putting it behind me.

But, if it were to come up again, and the situation were to repeat, is it a problem, to redo what they did and then respond that they didn't seem to think it was a big deal when it happened to me?

Again, this is why God keeps teaching me the first lesson, to let it go. Fortunately, I have a new husband who encourages me to let things go.

It just is

My favorite question as a child was, why? Why is this so? Why must this be? Why can't I change this?


In a few short weeks I will be getting married. I've never been married before... or engaged either. I can't speak for being married, but being engaged stinks. Between the full time and part time job I still have, the new family obligations, preparing the new house that he and I will share together, the constant transit between work, his place, my place, and all the overly helpful family members I am exhausted.  Coordinating vendors and passing out the correct information while trying to repress the ones the rumors with incorrect information has kept me up at night. I suppose we're now into "the last minute details that really make an occasion" and with those details comes the inevitable minor problems. Regretably, where I see them as a minor problem, someone else might see them as the, "that's it. Scrap the plan, let's try again in a year."  On top of this, it is that time of year when we really should be focusing on the Christ Child, and redemptive suffering, and preparing the way of the Lord by being His hands on earth. And all anyone can talk to me about is bridesmaid dresses, where we are registered, and wedding cake. I admit, I hadn't considered this when we got engaged and picked a date.


The fact is, I would not have been fine with eloping. I have too many people who I would be disappointed to not share this day with. And any other modern day wedding is a little bit crazy, it just is. However, I would like to point out, that if the flowers wilt before the reception, this will not invalidate my marriage.  If the cake does a backflip off the stairs, this will not invalidate the marriage.  If someone spills kool-aid on my dress, my matron of honor will be upset, but we'll fix it, or we won't. And it will still be a sacrament of marriage.


I started this blog to talk about my adventures, and this really has been a good one. We are all overwhelmed trying to plan a wedding between two families that aren't in the same state, in the same mindset, or on the same page.  If you have a question, ask me. Or my matron of honor. Or the groom. We all talk to each other daily (or more frequently) and we love to answer questions. If you feel like I'm not communicating well, try being the one to start the conversation. Don't spread incorrect information. It takes me a ridiculous amount of time correcting it.


This wedding is about God. And our families. And us. However, this marriage is just about God, He, and I. It just is. The wedding I will share with you, if you let me. Because this is a good thing. A sacramental thing. A blessed event. It just is.