I'm not an expert

I am not a therapist.  Nor am I a parent.  I am especially not a parent of adopted children. However, in my current employment I came across an instance where a child is acting out repeatedly, and injuring numerous people in the process, and no one seems to understand why.  The common factor that I've heard from every source is that this child is the case of a recent adoption and every time he runs away, or hits someone, or acts out, he always says, "I want to call my mom." This isn't just a natural case of misbehavior.  This is a child who is crying for help because he's afraid she won't come back for him. This may seem an unreasonable fear, but consider that in the best case scenario, he's already lost everything once. I really want to send this parent a copy of "How to listen so children will talk" by Mr. Rogers and "Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control" by B. Bryan Post and Heather T. Forbes, but due to professional boundaries, I can't. I can't point out that this kid is acting VERY normally considering the circumstances, and that he legitimately has some very pressing concerns. I can't tell her all this, or his teacher, or his principal. I can't do anything. So I'm repeating what I know to the interwebs, praying that somehow the caretakers of this child will find this. And hoping that if the general public is educated on this some more, it will find it's way back to the children who need this.

Again, I'm not an expert. I'm not a parent. I'm not a teacher. And I'm not in this situation. But I've seen it happen. Again and again. My mother always says you can't save the world and she's right, but if I can pass this on to one person I'm doing my part.

That's it, we're moving to Australia

Yesterday was a horrible, ugly, no good, terrible day. I now want to move to Australia. However, this morning began with a quiet house, husband at grocery store, and a clean bedroom. And coffee. Before I left the house. Today is going to be much better than yesterday, I can tell already. Maybe we won't be moving Australia.

Let it go

When you are really, truly, angry with someone, is it really such a bad thing if you tell them.  The caveat is that whether they are truly apologetic or imply that this is really your fault for expecting too much, you must let it go. This is something that I feel is a lesson that God keeps teaching me. Over and over again. I won't go into the specifics as the what but I'm putting it behind me.

But, if it were to come up again, and the situation were to repeat, is it a problem, to redo what they did and then respond that they didn't seem to think it was a big deal when it happened to me?

Again, this is why God keeps teaching me the first lesson, to let it go. Fortunately, I have a new husband who encourages me to let things go.

It just is

My favorite question as a child was, why? Why is this so? Why must this be? Why can't I change this?


In a few short weeks I will be getting married. I've never been married before... or engaged either. I can't speak for being married, but being engaged stinks. Between the full time and part time job I still have, the new family obligations, preparing the new house that he and I will share together, the constant transit between work, his place, my place, and all the overly helpful family members I am exhausted.  Coordinating vendors and passing out the correct information while trying to repress the ones the rumors with incorrect information has kept me up at night. I suppose we're now into "the last minute details that really make an occasion" and with those details comes the inevitable minor problems. Regretably, where I see them as a minor problem, someone else might see them as the, "that's it. Scrap the plan, let's try again in a year."  On top of this, it is that time of year when we really should be focusing on the Christ Child, and redemptive suffering, and preparing the way of the Lord by being His hands on earth. And all anyone can talk to me about is bridesmaid dresses, where we are registered, and wedding cake. I admit, I hadn't considered this when we got engaged and picked a date.


The fact is, I would not have been fine with eloping. I have too many people who I would be disappointed to not share this day with. And any other modern day wedding is a little bit crazy, it just is. However, I would like to point out, that if the flowers wilt before the reception, this will not invalidate my marriage.  If the cake does a backflip off the stairs, this will not invalidate the marriage.  If someone spills kool-aid on my dress, my matron of honor will be upset, but we'll fix it, or we won't. And it will still be a sacrament of marriage.


I started this blog to talk about my adventures, and this really has been a good one. We are all overwhelmed trying to plan a wedding between two families that aren't in the same state, in the same mindset, or on the same page.  If you have a question, ask me. Or my matron of honor. Or the groom. We all talk to each other daily (or more frequently) and we love to answer questions. If you feel like I'm not communicating well, try being the one to start the conversation. Don't spread incorrect information. It takes me a ridiculous amount of time correcting it.


This wedding is about God. And our families. And us. However, this marriage is just about God, He, and I. It just is. The wedding I will share with you, if you let me. Because this is a good thing. A sacramental thing. A blessed event. It just is.

Rules #215

There is nothing like almost losing someone to remind you that it doesn't matter what your wedding invitations look like.

Rules #214

In every wedding something will go wrong, but it will make a great story later.

Rules #213

Realistic views about D-Day: something will go wrong on your wedding day. It will be okay. And if you're lucky, it will make a great story later.

Rules #212

Other helpful advice while preparing for marriage. Don't ever tell your future mother-in-law that you had considered eloping.

Rules #211

Helpful advice for planning your wedding: Elope.

Rules #210

You are the culmination of all your ancestors' flaws, hopes, sacrifices, crimes, and love. The one that you should pass down is love.